Adolescent son to father: I’m worried about the essay section.
Father: Just BS it and you’ll be fine. If you’re like me you should be pretty good at BS-ing. Just write something like: “The current political situation in blah blah really makes me contemplate the mysteries of life.”
–1 Train
Overheard by: bildita
Schoolboy to girl: You know you like him.
Schoolgirl to boy: No I don’t! He’s disgusting! I wouldn’t let him even touch me or come near me… Well, unless we were dancing.
–6 Train
Overheard by: CSneed
Six-year-old hippie girl to babysitter: If it’s okay with you, can you take Tommy and I to Grey Dog, please?
Six-year-old preppy boy: What’s “Grey Dog”?
Six-year-old hippie girl: My favorite coffee shop.
–Bleecker & 6th Ave
Headline by: chubba
Runners-Up:
· “By the Time She Was 13 She Had a Favorite Abortion Clinic.” – DR G LUV
· “I Just Get The Cafe Au Breast Milk.” – cbeck
· “If It Was 1908, She’d Be Working in a Textile Factory” – Nate
· “The Lattes Come with Biodegradable Crazy Straws” – Kristen
· “Their Mom Had Caffinated Breast Milk” – Josh
Boy, to uninterested girl: You gotta date me! What you mean you only date 25-year-olds? Do you know what 25-year-old guys do?? They masturbate. All the time. It’s true -my dad told me.
–Fordham Road Subway Station
Overheard by: …as opposed to guys of all other ages??
Girl on cell: They keep doing it, and it’s ridiculous. I mean, they should just whack it off in the bathroom like everybody else does.
–Auditions, 35th & 8th
Chick on cell: What’s wrong with jerking off in the baggage claim at the start of a three day weekend?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Surly stocker to fellow coworker: If they keep calling me upstairs, I am not going to have time to eat, or masturbate, or anything!
–Duane Reade, 58th & 8th
Overheard by: I’m busy too
Boy on cell: I’ve never gone all the way with anyone -you know? [Pause.] … I’m just enjoying myself.
–Broadway , Near Columbia University
Overheard by: julie
Mother, to young son running up steps: Come back down!
[Boy sits down on top step.]Mother: We can go look for some worms!
[Boy thinks for a minute.]Boy: Ok! [goes back down.]
–Columbia University
Little boy: But I was really excited for her to get a hernia!
–35th & 6th
Overheard by: alix
Eleven-year-old boy, to classmate that he just hit with a ball representing "responsibility": Oooooooo!!! You just got pounded in the face with responsibility!!!
–Bushwick, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Their Proud Counselor
Ten-year-old girl, about figures: Why do they all have to be boys?
–Bodies: The Exhibition, South Street Seaport
Overheard by: Robert
Young child crossing the street while holding his mothers hand: [Singing] Please… Don’t… Enter me.
–70th St & Columbus
Little boy: It’s not illegal to jiggle.
–6th & 17th
Preschooler to daddy: Can I get that three hundred dollars now?
–UES
Twelve-year-old boy: How do you know they don’t have kid’s sizes?
Mom: I just know they don’t.
Kid: But how do you know?!
Mom, impatient: I know!
–Christopher St., in front of Gay Leather Fetish Shop
Little black boy in school group: Why are there all white people here? Is this a white people place, Miss Hannah?
Teacher: Well…
–Museum of Natural History
Male student: I think it was just like… quiet racism.
Exuberant black teacher, whispering: Nigga!
–ICE High School, 16th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Lady-Bastard
Boy waving banana: Want this?
Frustrated girl: I don’t need a banana. I have a boyfriend.
–College Walk, Columbia University
