Dude #1: Yo, what’s up?
Dude #2: I know what’s going up.
Dude #1: The price of stamps?
Dude #2: This elevator don’t go down till the passengers get off. A samurai won’t sheath their sword without the taste of blood…Fool, my penis! Damn, you just broke the elevator. Way to go, homo.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Gary Wattson
Guy: That’s why people like me: for my vagina-cleansing properties.
–Times Square station
Overheard by: Thiess
Hobo: Yeah man, that’s good shit. Except for those white-ass American bandstand drummers. Whoever heard of fucking Clark Kent playing bongos?
–55th & 9th
Overheard by: Luke Reynolds
Girl on cell: Oh my God, I am like so uncoherent today.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Athens Mol
Girl on cell: …And I was like, “Good thing you think I’m pregnant.”
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Halcyon Murphy
Guy #1: Did you bring your cell phone charger today?
Guy #2: Oh yeah. Like, they be giving free electricity up in here, for real.
–Kings Criminal Court Building, Downtown Brooklyn
Overheard by: Chris Thompson
Woman #1: Excuse me, how do I walk to the other side of the Brooklyn Bridge?
Woman #2: Just do it.
–Downtown Brooklyn
Guy: The only reason she was hanging out with those dudes is because she was hoping that one of them would kill me…But that’s neither here nor there.
–6 train
Girl: I know you’re not religious, but do you believe in dinosaurs?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Sasha
Hobo: Can you spare some change? I need some money to get inebriated tonight.
Girl: I need all of the money I have to get myself inebriated tonight!
Hobo: Well good luck, bitch!
–5th Avenue & 9th Street
Overheard by: Gwyneth
