Southern tourist child: Daddy, was Jesus Dolly Parton’s best friend too?
Southern tourist father: No, no one really loved Dolly Parton.
–34th & Lexington
Overheard by: Graham Davis
Southern tourist child: Daddy, was Jesus Dolly Parton’s best friend too?
Southern tourist father: No, no one really loved Dolly Parton.
–34th & Lexington
Overheard by: Graham Davis
Dad, to four-year-old son: That’s great, send you off to school all jacked-up on chocolate chip pancakes.
Four-year-old: Jack up! Jack up! Jack off!
–SoHo Breakfast Cafe
Overheard by: dylan
Four-year-old girl, riding waspy dad’s shoulders: Daddy, are housing prices going to go down any time soon?
Dad: I sure as hell hope so.
–187th & Broadway
Overheard by: trump-i-poo
Seven-year-old boy to friend: What are you, drunk or something?
–Union Square
Ten-year-old boy to mom: Let’s get drunk! [Starts dancing.]
–W 45th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Jon A.
Dad to three-year-old: Well, I don’t know, will you buy me a beer?
–79th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: s h
[Tiny boy is making weird faces at the window.]Sister: Mommy, I think he’s drunk.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Becca
Trashy Boston girl: I love little children. They are like little drunk real people. Except that one, because she’s foreign.
–Madison Square Garden
Little boy: Dad, can I get a sucker?
Dad: No.
Little boy: Please dad? Why not?
Dad: Suckers are for girls.
–Target Shopping Center
Overheard by: Alaina
Adolescent son to father: I’m worried about the essay section.
Father: Just BS it and you’ll be fine. If you’re like me you should be pretty good at BS-ing. Just write something like: “The current political situation in blah blah really makes me contemplate the mysteries of life.”
–1 Train
Overheard by: bildita
Overly enthusiastic white dad: What are you saying no to?
Toddler: No no no no no no no!
Overly enthusiastic white dad: Are you saying no to drugs?
Toddler: No no no no no no no!
Overly enthusiastic white dad: Are you not saying no to drugs? Are you doing drugs?
–73rd between Broadway and West End
Overheard by: UpperWestsidette
Four-year-old daughter to father: Will you buy me a beer?
Father: I don’t know. Will you buy me a beer?
–82nd & Amsterdam
Four-year-old, walking with father: I can spell “Ma-ma”.
Father, to himself: Bitch didn’t teach her how to spell my name, did she?
–9th St & 2nd Ave
Eight-year-old-girl: What is aged cheese?
Dad: You age cheese to make it better.
Eight-year-old-girl: You do?
Dad: Like whiskey.
Eight-year-old-girl: Ahhhh, I see.
–Starbucks, 9th & 2nd
