Father to little daughter: You are the most beautiful girl in this photo… and I’m not biased.
(daughter smiles)
Father: Do you know what “biased” means?
Daughter (rolling her eyes): Yes, it means that you like both boys and girls.
–F Train
Father to little daughter: You are the most beautiful girl in this photo… and I’m not biased.
(daughter smiles)
Father: Do you know what “biased” means?
Daughter (rolling her eyes): Yes, it means that you like both boys and girls.
–F Train
Tourist to doorman, in thick German accent: Excuse me, can you point me to the nearest Hooters?
–53rd St
Overheard by: jillcorp
Tourist taking a picture of her uncooperative teenage daughter: Shut up and pose, or I’m going to pee right on this yard.
–Central Park
Tourist about to take picture with lens cap on: Oh, shoot! Hold on, I have to take the lens cap off or else the picture is going to be really dark!
–Grand Central Terminal
Tourist girl: I don’t get it, there’s so many suits here, I thought Union Square would be full of hippies.
–City Hall Park
Tourist on cell: So far, I’ve experienced coldness and evil.
–57th & 8th
Overheard by: Lag
Southern tourist child: Daddy, was Jesus Dolly Parton’s best friend too?
Southern tourist father: No, no one really loved Dolly Parton.
–34th & Lexington
Overheard by: Graham Davis
Dad, to four-year-old son: That’s great, send you off to school all jacked-up on chocolate chip pancakes.
Four-year-old: Jack up! Jack up! Jack off!
–SoHo Breakfast Cafe
Overheard by: dylan
Four-year-old girl, riding waspy dad’s shoulders: Daddy, are housing prices going to go down any time soon?
Dad: I sure as hell hope so.
–187th & Broadway
Overheard by: trump-i-poo
Seven-year-old boy to friend: What are you, drunk or something?
–Union Square
Ten-year-old boy to mom: Let’s get drunk! [Starts dancing.]
–W 45th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Jon A.
Dad to three-year-old: Well, I don’t know, will you buy me a beer?
–79th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: s h
[Tiny boy is making weird faces at the window.]Sister: Mommy, I think he’s drunk.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Becca
Trashy Boston girl: I love little children. They are like little drunk real people. Except that one, because she’s foreign.
–Madison Square Garden
Little boy: Dad, can I get a sucker?
Dad: No.
Little boy: Please dad? Why not?
Dad: Suckers are for girls.
–Target Shopping Center
Overheard by: Alaina
Adolescent son to father: I’m worried about the essay section.
Father: Just BS it and you’ll be fine. If you’re like me you should be pretty good at BS-ing. Just write something like: “The current political situation in blah blah really makes me contemplate the mysteries of life.”
–1 Train
Overheard by: bildita
Overly enthusiastic white dad: What are you saying no to?
Toddler: No no no no no no no!
Overly enthusiastic white dad: Are you saying no to drugs?
Toddler: No no no no no no no!
Overly enthusiastic white dad: Are you not saying no to drugs? Are you doing drugs?
–73rd between Broadway and West End
Overheard by: UpperWestsidette
Four-year-old daughter to father: Will you buy me a beer?
Father: I don’t know. Will you buy me a beer?
–82nd & Amsterdam
