Wednesday One-Liners Take the Sex and the City Tour

Tourist to doorman, in thick German accent: Excuse me, can you point me to the nearest Hooters?

–53rd St

Overheard by: jillcorp

Tourist taking a picture of her uncooperative teenage daughter: Shut up and pose, or I’m going to pee right on this yard.

–Central Park

Tourist about to take picture with lens cap on: Oh, shoot! Hold on, I have to take the lens cap off or else the picture is going to be really dark!

–Grand Central Terminal

Tourist girl: I don’t get it, there’s so many suits here, I thought Union Square would be full of hippies.

–City Hall Park

Tourist on cell: So far, I’ve experienced coldness and evil.

–57th & 8th

Overheard by: Lag

Posted on July 2, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Central Park, Compare/Contrast, Dads, Fears, Foreigners, Girls, Grand Central, Lower Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, NYC Geography, Offers and requests, On Cell, Parents, Pee, Pictures, Restaurants & Cafes, Sexuality, Stupidity, Threats, Tourism, Tourists

Which Is to Say, No One Got Dollywood.

Southern tourist child: Daddy, was Jesus Dolly Parton’s best friend too?
Southern tourist father: No, no one really loved Dolly Parton.

–34th & Lexington

Overheard by: Graham Davis

Posted on June 30, 2008
About Celebrities, Compare/Contrast, Dads, Default, Friendship, Jesus, Kids, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Questions, Southerners

It Was the Maple Syrup That Pushed Josh Over the Edge

Dad, to four-year-old son: That’s great, send you off to school all jacked-up on chocolate chip pancakes.
Four-year-old: Jack up! Jack up! Jack off!

–SoHo Breakfast Cafe

Overheard by: dylan

Posted on June 24, 2008
Boys, Dads, Default, Food, Kids, Masturbation, Restaurants & Cafes, School and studying, Soho, Words

Her Bedtime Reading Is Real Estate for Rugrats

Four-year-old girl, riding waspy dad’s shoulders: Daddy, are housing prices going to go down any time soon?
Dad: I sure as hell hope so.

–187th & Broadway

Overheard by: trump-i-poo

Posted on June 1, 2008
Dads, Default, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Home, Sweet Home, Kids, Money & Class, Questions

At Least Wednesday One-Liners Are Too Young to Drive

Seven-year-old boy to friend: What are you, drunk or something?

–Union Square

Ten-year-old boy to mom: Let’s get drunk! [Starts dancing.]

–W 45th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Jon A.

Dad to three-year-old: Well, I don’t know, will you buy me a beer?

–79th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: s h

[Tiny boy is making weird faces at the window.]Sister: Mommy, I think he’s drunk.

–6 Train

Overheard by: Becca

Trashy Boston girl: I love little children. They are like little drunk real people. Except that one, because she’s foreign.

–Madison Square Garden

Posted on May 28, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Boys, Compare/Contrast, Dads, Drinking & Drunk People, Friends, Girls, Kids, Madison Square Garden, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Questions, Sisters, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

I Blame Shirley Temple

Little boy: Dad, can I get a sucker?
Dad: No.
Little boy: Please dad? Why not?
Dad: Suckers are for girls.

–Target Shopping Center

Overheard by: Alaina

Posted on May 15, 2008
Boys, Dads, Default, Food, Gender issues, Kids, Offers and requests, Parents, Questions, Store, Wishes & desires

Then You’ll Pass That Chemistry Test for Sure!

Adolescent son to father: I’m worried about the essay section.
Father: Just BS it and you’ll be fine. If you’re like me you should be pretty good at BS-ing. Just write something like: “The current political situation in blah blah really makes me contemplate the mysteries of life.”

–1 Train

Overheard by: bildita

Posted on May 13, 2008
Advice, Boys, Dads, Default, Education, Kids, On the Subway, Parents, Teens

Perhaps the Tie-Dye Onesie and Lennon Shades Were a Poor Idea

Overly enthusiastic white dad: What are you saying no to?
Toddler: No no no no no no no!
Overly enthusiastic white dad: Are you saying no to drugs?
Toddler: No no no no no no no!
Overly enthusiastic white dad: Are you not saying no to drugs? Are you doing drugs?

–73rd between Broadway and West End

Overheard by: UpperWestsidette