Three-year-old: I have a lot of M&Ms at mommy's house.
Dad: Yes, but you get more snacks at daddy's house.
–Path Train
Overheard by: Jatmos
Three-year-old: I have a lot of M&Ms at mommy's house.
Dad: Yes, but you get more snacks at daddy's house.
–Path Train
Overheard by: Jatmos
Man: That’s a very cute dog!
Girl #1: Yes, she is. My dad got her at a pet store. He was going to get a dog at the shelter, but he didn’t want to.
Girl #2: Yeah, so the dog he would have gotten at the shelter died, because it was a kill shelter.
Dad: Um, I’m not really taking full responsibility for that.
Girl #1: The dog was killed. Just because you didn’t want it.
Girl #2: Yeah, dad.
Dad: Really. I think this is less than 5% my fault. Look, this where we get off.
Man: Have a good night! Sleep well.
–Elevator, 82nd & 3rd
Overheard by: emily
Fabulous woman: That’s all vodka under the bridge.
–55 Bar
Overheard by: Girl Margaret
Huge man to small child trying to participate in conversation: No, son, we’re not talking about your school–we’re talking about Bam! You trying to get all up in the Kool-Aid, but you don’t even know the flavor.
–C Train
Drunk girl, accidentally taking swig of vodka instead of water: This wetness is spicy!
–Bergen St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Gnomies
Skinny teen: I wish they made diet water.
–Times Square
JAP: I’d like a Pellegrino.
–Hooters
Middle-aged suit yelling into cell: No- I want to see you drink the bong water!
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Me Too…
Dad: So what’s that thing you want for your birthday again?
Little boy: A Wii.
Dad: Wii? As in wee-wee? Gross!
Little boy: You’re immature.
Dad: You wet the bed.
Little boy: You’re immature.
–1 Train
Pudgy tourist mom to sulking pudgy son: You’re not getting it, you’re not getting it!
Pudgy tourist dad to sulking pudgy son: We’re going to a nice restaurant, you are not gonna be an animal!
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: wants to know what the kid wanted
Little boy to dad (pointing at subway): Daddy, is that a big trash can?
Daddy: No.
Little boy: I’m going to throw trash in it.
–6 Train
Overheard by: reL
Little boy looking at photos being sold on street: Why do they call it Gay Street?
Dad: They got all kinds of fucked up names for streets in this city.
–Times Square
Overheard by: R
(guy gets up as train starts to move and begins rambling crazily)
Tourist girl: Stop it! You’re scaring me! (to parents) make him stop! (to him) Stop it! (to mom) I want to get off this train!
Tourist dad: Excuse me, you’re scaring my daughter.
Crazy guy: Am I scaring her?
–3 Train
Overheard by: Glad I only went one stop
Father, to daughter with Disney princess backpack: And who kisses sleeping beauty?
Daughter: The prince.
Father: He was a pretty lucky guy then, right?
–New Wave Diner, 79th & Broadway
Overheard by: EthanK
Father to little daughter: You are the most beautiful girl in this photo… and I’m not biased.
(daughter smiles)
Father: Do you know what “biased” means?
Daughter (rolling her eyes): Yes, it means that you like both boys and girls.
–F Train
