20-something year old girl: So you just sat with the dead baby for six months?
20-something year old guy: I told you not to talk about this in public, you'll be sitting right next to it if you keep bringing him up around people.
–Applebee's
Overheard by: Emily
Girl #1: I mean, really, she was doing cocaine at her father’s memorial service.
Girl #2: I know. Me and Ashley were like, “We’re no prudes, but there’s such a thing as decorum.”
–84th & Madison
Girl: Am I the cutest?
Guy: Maybe…are we including dead people?
–143rd & Broadway
Overheard by: djlindee
Guy #1: Aw…
Guy #2: What happened?
Guy #1: That Terri Schiavo, the one with the feeding tube. She died.
Guy #2: Yeah, that’s too bad…I wonder what would happen if you were to blow air through the feeding tube. Do you think she would fart?
–The Westminster lobby, 20th & 7th
Investment banker #1: God is dead.
Investment banker #2: Nietzsche is dead!
–46th & 5th
Evangelist standing on a bench: I was born under the Lord, I've lived under the Lord, and I'll die under the Lord.
Drunk walking by: Die, we don't give a fuck!
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Michael A McCormick
Crazy hobo (to the tune of Elvis’ Hound dog): Ain’t nothing but a hound dog! (mutters next two lines) And you never fuck a rabbit in the ass, cause that’s just a waste of time!
–E 4th St & 2nd Ave
Man, to the tune of Hit Me Baby One More Time: I need to pee out of my urethra.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Noelle
Guy in back of the bus wearing headphones and singing: (almost inaudible) I wanna die…I just wanna die.
(everyone stares at him)
Guy: (almost inaudible) I wanna die… I wanna dieeeeeeee.
–Bx 9 Bus, Fordham Plaza
Overheard by: Krisztina, sitting right in front of him
Homeless guy singing while shaking paper cup full of change: Oh me, oh my… There goes perfection. Oh me, oh my… Here comes an erection.
–13th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: rolf
Young Hispanic man singing to Led Zeppelin’s Stairway to Heaven: And there’s a wino down the road!
–E train
Overheard by: In_the_Shadows
Crazy hobo signing to two passing women: Vaaaggiiinnnaaa… Vaaagggiiiinnaaaa. (stretches out his neck towards them and emphasizes) Vaaaaggggiiiiinnnaaaaaa!
–Near NYU
Overheard by: Joe
Guy #1: Yeah… And then it always grosses me out when they split the skull open and eat the brains.
Guy #2: The brains are the best part.
Guy #1: Yeah, I guess that’s what Easter is all about.
–Mama Bell’s Pizza, Bayside
Overheard by: sara swank
Where: Bedford Ave., Yuppietown
Hobo: …and the rest of you will be buried in cement!
Guy: You see that bum? He wouldn’t even look me in the eye. I know him from the Bronx. Evvverybody knows everybody in the Bronx, especially if you do drugs. He’s a liar…His daughter did die, but 3 years ago. He got so much money hustlin’ on the D train, but now they all know it’s bullshit, so he came all the way to Queens….what, he gotta bury his daughter every year? He gonna ask for money when the girl died 20 yrs ago?…And if you don’t got money for a burial, the city gives it to you. He fulla shit.
–7 train
Overheard by: MR
Standing in line is a guy with a massive 12-roll pack of toilet paper. His buddy comes up to join him and says: I always knew you were full of shit.
–Rite Aid, Irving Place
Overheard by: Vera Farrelly
