Woman #1: This sweater is 80 dollars?! My grandmother could knit this!
Woman #2: Wow, really?
Woman #1: Well, no, she’s dead… But you know what I mean.
–The Gap
Woman #1: This sweater is 80 dollars?! My grandmother could knit this!
Woman #2: Wow, really?
Woman #1: Well, no, she’s dead… But you know what I mean.
–The Gap
Dude #1: So, the other night I killed a mouse by rolling over on it in my sleep.
Dude #2: How did you know you killed it? Did you feel it or just wake up and find it there?
Dude #1: Yeah, when I woke up in the morning I looked over and was like, ‘Oh, a mouse,’ and then I took a picture.
–Ciao for Now, 12th St & Ave A
Overheard by: Coffee drinker who just lost her appetite
Man #1: If you could have sex with anyone, who would it be?
Man #2: Living or dead?
–F train
Overheard by: El Duderino
Boat PA: Ladies and gentlemen on the top deck of the boat, please do not stand on the benches. If you fall overboard, you will die in this frigid, freezing water. Thank you, and enjoy your visit to Ellis island.
–Ellis Island Ferry
Overheard by: land lubber
Urban sophisticate: Steve Irwin’s death was random. That stingray did not know where his heart was!
–Metropolitan Opera
Overheard by: Opera Onlooker
Male suit to woman suit: So, hopefully you’re not the angel of death… Are you?
–53rd & Broadway
Overheard by: S&B
Teen guy to three teenage girls: I’m pretty sure I’m invincible and can’t die.
–6th Ave
Overheard by: Justin
Woman on cell: My trip went really well, except for Marilyn’s* death and all.
–52nd St & Madison
Overheard by: kinicke
50-something professor: So, then the little girl goes back up into her room where she is reading bible verses while everyone else is in church. Then, she either dies all alone… Like Heath Ledger… Or she kills herself. We just don’t know.
–Barnard College
Sassy eight-year-old to mother: You don't know Spanish except what you learned from Selena.
–2 Train
Chick on cell: Watching 27 Dresses in a cheetah robe…
–110th & Broadway
Overheard by: Virginia
Little boy, as his mother asks for directions: Great, we're lost in New York City. It's like Home Alone!
–Across from Spamalot Theatre
Fag to hag: Don't you remember that time on Titanic when Leonardo DiCaprio told you not to just talk about it, but do it? He was gonna teach you how to spit like a man and ride a horse like a man, and then the ship sank and he died. This is your moment. Spit, woman, spit!
–Natural History Museum
(at a screening of The Shining)
Woman: Haha! How can a ghost open a door? This movie sucks!
–Empire-Fulton Ferry State Park
Thug to another: And she said she wanna go to the movies. And I said I don't wanna go to the movies, I want some pussy!
–57th & 9th
Overheard by: JPM
Panhandler on train: Please, I can't afford the rent at the YMCA because they just raised it. So if anyone has some money or some food or something to drink, it would really help me out. Jesus loves people who help poor people. Also, don't forget to see the new summer blockbuster Hellboy II. It's really great.
–F Train
Overheard by: JB
Skank: Oh, god… It’s just so sad. I mean, that fuckah was just so young. He got so many women. Why he had to die?
Woman trying to talk on cell: Oh, well I’m sorry to hear that.
Skank: I mean, I woulda done anything for him… Anything at all… Great fuck… Great fuckah… Sad. [Train stops.] I gotta go.
Woman, back to caller: Hun? Sorry about that. Some girl wouldn’t stop talking. I think she was going to the first funeral that didn’t take place in her womb.
–A train
Girl: So I heard that Tom Brokaw is going to be doing a lecture here in December.
Guy: Well, if he doesn’t die first.
–Bursar’s Office, City College
Guy associate: I mean, I saw the picture; how dangerous could it
really be?
Girl associate: Well, it would be pretty terrible to die on your
honeymoon. I mean, what’s the protocol for that? Do you get to keep
the wedding gifts? Send them back?
–Law Firm, 59th & Lexington
PR woman #1: So, my cousin’s test on her biopsy showed that it was cancerous…
PR woman #2: Girl, that nuttin’. My best friend’s sister’s husband — he’s a doctor — was drivin’ to the city from New Jersey yesterday, got outta his car and got run over by a truck.
–Union Square station
Overheard by: drfunk
