Six-year-old boy: Mom, did you know that Elvis Presley died of a drug overdose?
Mom: Well, that won't ever happen to you.
Six-year-old boy, angrily: How do you know?
–Atlantic Ave Station
Overheard by: Jon Good
Six-year-old boy: Mom, did you know that Elvis Presley died of a drug overdose?
Mom: Well, that won't ever happen to you.
Six-year-old boy, angrily: How do you know?
–Atlantic Ave Station
Overheard by: Jon Good
Guy on cell: But he didn’t get shot…Oh, the old man’s dead? Niiiice!
–Starbucks, 57th St
Little Boy: Mommy, mommy! Guess what I dreamt about last night? I dreamt I was dead!
–Star Diner, 77th & 1st
Overheard by: Fruit Salad
Commuter: Well, I’d rather do it for a dead person than a handicapped one.
–LIRR train
Overheard by: LIRRider
Guy #1, to guy #2: I don’t want you to freak out about this, man, but when I die I want you by my side.
–Union Square
Little boy: Daddy, is Michael Jackson still alive?
Father: Um…sort of.
–42nd St & Broadway
Overheard by: Sabs
Guy walking by himself: I wish everybody who is not mentally ill would just drop dead!
–9th St, Park Slope
Overheard by: Rear Admiral Butts
Guy (admiringly, to attractive girl passing by): Damn, girl, I wish you were a guy!
–14th St & 1st Ave
Ditzy girl to another, about her boyfriend: He's teaching himself philosophy right now. He bought a philosophy dictionary. He can do that, you know, because he's so smart. I wish I could do that!
–Astoria
Overheard by: squarehand
Young guy to girl: Dude, I wish Dali was still around so he could do my album.
–Museum of Modern Art
Overheard by: Gino
Serious girl: I wish I had gotten the ovaries!
–Korean Baptist Church, Astoria
Overheard by: Evan
Girl: You know, sometimes I just feel like breaking down and crying.
Guy: Wanna get some pizza?
Girl: Seriously, life can be so hard sometimes, I really can’t take it anymore.
Guy: Have you considered suicide?
Girl: Fuck you!
Guy: Well seriously, you need to stop complaining about life or just kill yourself and get it over with.
Girl: Fuck you. I’m getting off at the next stop and going back home.
Guy: Wanna get some pizza?
–Q train
Overheard by: Jimmy Crehan
Large black lady: They have all sorts of bags here: small bags, big bags — you could fit, like, nine bodies in that bag.
–The Container Store, 5th Ave
Overheard by: Hannah
Fat queer: I want to be buried alive so I can eat myself out of it.
–Graham & Conselyea
Overheard by: Jesse
Girl on cell: I keep calling them and telling them not to kill him yet!
–8th & Broadway
Overheard by: my roommate and me
Man on cell: Is Anne available? She’s dead? Oh, okay then.
–54th & Park
Nine-year-old boy seeing rays of sunlight enter car: We’re above ground now! Now we can’t be killed!
–N train, Queens
Normal guy: So, you know this guy was unarmed…
Crazy beard guy: Sure.
Normal guy: Well, needless to say, people died that night. That’s all I’m sayin’.
–12th & 1st
Overheard by: Heather
Girl: Yo, so I heard that this guy fell into a hole and was covered with molten steel and died. What a terrible way to die.
Guy: Eh, not so bad.
Girl: Well, what’s worse?
Guy: There was that guy in Germany who cut off this other guy’s penis and then ate it.
Girl: He died?
Guy: Yeah, a man dies when his dick is cut off.
–4 train
Teen #1: Are we there yet?
Teen #2: It's right over there.
Teen #3 (screaming): I see it! I see Atlas! It's white, I see it.
Bus driver: Yeah, and I see dead people across the street…you don't hear me screaming.
–Q29 Bus, Atlas Park Mall
Woman to ten-year-old daughter: And then we'll go to the cemetery to visit nana.
Four-year-old son: Can I come to the cemetery, too?!
Woman: No.
Four-year-old son, defiantly: Well, you're not going to see nana anyway. You're just going to see her grave!
–59th St & Lexington
Overheard by: Rachel C.
