Kids: Ewwwwwww!!
Man with them: What about aliens?
Kids: Ewwww! Everyone knows they poop all over themselves. Poop alllllll over themselves! Ewwwwww!
–Frederick Douglass & 124th
Kids: Ewwwwwww!!
Man with them: What about aliens?
Kids: Ewwww! Everyone knows they poop all over themselves. Poop alllllll over themselves! Ewwwwww!
–Frederick Douglass & 124th
Girl to friend, after other girl leaves room: She’s cool. I like Jovanna.
Professor: You like Jovanna?!…I don’t. Professor breaks into laughter.
–Bard High School Early College
Conductor #1: Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. This is the Manhattan-bound, Sixth Avenue local F train. The next stop is…
Conductor #2: There is no next stop. Let’s go.
Conductor #1: Stand clear of the closing doors.
–F Train
Young white yuppie girl #1: Did you really let him stay over again?
Young white yuppie girl #2: Well, he doesn’t have to report to Riker’s for another couple weeks.
–12th & Washington
Overheard by: balloonknot
Met guard: Don’t touch that [Points to ancient Greek statue.]Little girl: Not even a little?
Met guard: Not even a little.
[Pause.]Little girl: Not even a little little?
Met guard: Vera, stop.
Little girl: Ok. No touching. Got it. [Sticks out her tongue and gives the marble a long, slow, slobbering lick.]
–The Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: Brendan
British girl #1: I’m hungry.
British girl #2: You know, we should eat at McDonald’s.
British girl #1: Are you for serious?
British girl #2: No, it was just jokesies.
British girl #1: Well, it was not funny, Angeline!
–Times Square
Loud black girl #1: If you got the same father but different mothers you half siblings. If you got the same mother but different fathers you whole siblings!
Loud black girl #2: No it ain’t! You’re wrong.
Loud black girl #1, to older black man standing in front of them: Excuse me, sir. You look older and wiser than us. Which one of us is right?
Older black man: If you got the same mamma y’all sistas.
Loud black girl #2: That’s not right.
Loud black girl #1: You just wait till we get out this train and have service and we will both text message Google and see who’s right. Same mamma makes you whole siblings!
Loud black girl #2: Fine, but you wrong.
Loud black girl #1: Yes you are, cause you all come out the same pussy! It’s the pussy that matters!
–6 Train
Overheard by: Alie
Woman: This is a nice building.
Man: Andy Warhol was shot on the sixth floor.
Woman: Nice!
–33 Union Square West
Four-year-old girl, riding waspy dad’s shoulders: Daddy, are housing prices going to go down any time soon?
Dad: I sure as hell hope so.
–187th & Broadway
Overheard by: trump-i-poo
Bimbette #1, looking at the library: Oh wow! It’s so pretty!
Bimbette #2: God, I wish we were smart enough to go here!
–Outside NYU Library
Overheard by: Kathryn
