Hobo: Excuse me, do you have some change so I can buy some dinner?
Girl: Sorry, I don’t carry cash.
Hobo: I bet you’d have some cash if I pulled out my 9mm [makes fake gun with his hand].
Girl, nonplussed: No, I really wouldn’t.
–14th & 3rd
Hobo: Excuse me, do you have some change so I can buy some dinner?
Girl: Sorry, I don’t carry cash.
Hobo: I bet you’d have some cash if I pulled out my 9mm [makes fake gun with his hand].
Girl, nonplussed: No, I really wouldn’t.
–14th & 3rd
Black lesbian #1: Everything changed for me when I started reading Tony.
Black lesbian #2: Oh, yeah, Toni Morrison changed my life.
Black lesbian #1: No, I’m talking about Tony Robbins. I learned it’s all about personal power!
Black lesbian #2: Oh.
–Brooklyn-bound J train
Overheard by: A White Bear
Guy, after Bar results: Oh, hi there.
Girl: Hi.
Guy: So…
Girl: So… Big day.
Guy: Yeah. It’s big. Big day.
Simultaneously to one another: So you’re…
Girl: Happy?
Guy: Um. Yeah. Pretty happy. You?
Girl: I’m happy!
Together: Yeah!
Hobo: Shut the fuck up!
–5 train
Bag lady: Please, can someone help me? Call 911…
Cop: You’re talking to a goddamn cop! Are you fucking retarded?
–Times Square
Tourist woman #1, staring up at glass elevators in atrium: Oh my god, look at that!
Tourist woman #2, gasping: Oh my god!
Tourist woman #3: Wow! Will you look at that!
Tourist woman #2: They got those lights on ’em! It’s like The Matrix or something!
Tourist woman #1: Where’s Martha*?
Tourist woman #2: I think she’s over looking out the window.
Tourist woman #1: Okay… I guess we should go get her. [All stare silently for a moment.]Tourist woman #3, reluctantly tearing her eyes away: Come on.
Tourist woman #1: Yeah, okay. Wow.
Tourist woman #2: Yeah.
–8th floor lounge, Marriott Marquis, Times Square
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Preggers: So, are you going to change your phone number?
Baby daddy: Probably.
Preggers: Well, then how can I tell you about the appointments and such?
Baby daddy: You have three of my e-mail addresses.
Preggers: It’s not my responsibility to e-mail you when all of this stuff is.
Baby daddy: But you were going to text me when they were? What the fuck?! [Walks away.]
–Times Square
Overheard by: Bastard children rule!
Dude: It’s Kurt Cobain’s birthday soon.
Grungy hipster girl: Reeeally?
Skinny frat boy: Too bad he shot himself in the head.
Dude: Haha, yeah. Shotgun!
–New School dorm
Overheard by: Cameron
Thug: Damn, girl! What, you got some Irish blood in you?
Girl: Um, no…
Thug: Then what kind you got?
Girl: I’m Jewish.
Thug: Them Jews got it goin’ on!
–14th & 9th
Girl: I met this guy last summer… He was French…
Guy: That means he was gay?
–1 train
Overheard by: olga torrey
