Old man to kid with musical instrument case: Gotta big case there.
Kid: Yep, I need it for school.
Old man: Is that a shotgun?
–6 Train
Overheard by: Knively
Old man to kid with musical instrument case: Gotta big case there.
Kid: Yep, I need it for school.
Old man: Is that a shotgun?
–6 Train
Overheard by: Knively
Professor: And why did Moses lead the Jews out of Egypt?
Student: Because he was stoned.
–NYU
Physics teacher: Who wants to read problem five?
Girl in front of room: Who wants to drink cyanide for breakfast?
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Guy: I just go to class and go right to sleep anyway. But god, the chairs are so uncomfortable I always have neck cramps when I wake up.
Girl: Ouch, that's so annoying!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: amalthya
Asian girlfriend, yelling: Get out of my store! You always make customers angry!
Asian boyfriend, yelling back: You are the professor of psycho!
–Bodega, Upper West Side
Astronomy professor: And on the test you'll all circle the answer that says…
Class, in unison: Mercury and Uranus!
Astronomy professor: Right. Mercury and my anus. So…
–Wagner College
Overheard by: At least class is never boring…
Young teacher: So he would take a pack of staples, sit at his desk, pick them apart, and throw them. That's dedication!
Friend: (laughs)
Young teacher: Yeah, and then he would get his friend to call his phone from outside the classroom and it would ring and make this squeaking noise. We caught a mouse the day before, so I literally stopped the class to look for it.
–Starbucks
History teacher: Does anyone have any thoughts they'd like to share about the reading? Any strong opinions?
Girl: I want to share! I have a strong opinion! Can I share?
History teacher: You want to share, Amy*?
Girl: Yes!
History teacher: Go ahead.
Girl: Never mind.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Teacher: So, in Gangs of New York, Amsterdam throws the bible into the river. What does this represent?
Student #1: He's rejecting his religion because he wants to get revenge.
Teacher: Right. The bible says…
Student #2: “You shall not get revenge”!
Teacher: I don't think that's actually what it says.
Student #2: Yeah, whatever… It could be the 11th commitment!
–St. Francis Prep, Queens
Woman #1: I, like, have a degree and still I can't even make a measly 200k.
Woman #2: Yeah, I know, it's ridiculous! Welcome to America!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Vinny Bogan
