Girl: Hey, you know I heard this guy did drugs one time, and he had some kind of permanent reaction, and now he thinks he’s a glass of orange juice!
Guy: Oh yeah, I heard about that. He goes around telling people not to tip him!
Girl: Yeah, yeah. Hey, imagine if he saw someone drinking orange juice.
Guy: Now that would be funny.
–Fontana Sushi, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Fiona F.
Teen girl #1: So I gave her her piece.
Teen girl #2: You gave her herpes?
Teen boy #1: No, she gave her her piece.
Teen girl #1: Of chocolate.
Teen girl #2: Ha, ha, ha! “Gave her herpes.” Her piece.
Teen boy #1: Herpes chocolate!
Teen girl #2: Knock, knock.
Teen boy #1: Who’s there?
Teen girl #2: Herpes.
Teen boy #1: Herpes who?
Teen girl #2: Her piece of chocolate!…Hey, Milton! Knock, knock!
Teen boy #2: Who’s there?
Teen girl #2: Herpes!…Milton, you have to say, “herpes who?”!
Teen boy #2: No.
Teen girl #2: You suck, Milton!
Teen girl #1: No, you suck.
Old woman: That’s true.
–1 train
Guy: You want to have lunch with me next week?
Girl: Sure, but not on Monday. I’m getting married.
Guy: You are? Really?
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: To who? Is it Norman?
Girl: No, it’s whoever my dad chose.
–68th Street station
Overheard by: Babs Monroe
Hobo: Man, can you spare some change so I can buy a slice of pizza?
Brit guy: I haven’t got any pizza.
–104th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ron Caldwell
Dude: So you gonna give me some fuckin’ money? Give me some fuckin money! I don’t have two quarters to rub together; I can’t
even call my wife. Give me some fuckin’ money!
Lawyer man: I’m not going to give you any money.
Dude: Give me some fuckin’ money! You are my sister! I have no money!
Woman: I’m not giving you any money when you are acting like a criminal.
Restaurant guy: Sir, you need to calm down or I will have to call the police.
Dude: Don’t tell me what to fucking do. I just got out of Rikers Island!
Restaurant guy: Well sir, do you want to go back there? You need to leave or take the conversation outside.
–Pasta Lovers, Kew Gardens
Overheard by: Amanda
Mom: Honey, smile!
Teen girl: Supermodels don’t smile.
–Central Park
Overheard by: D. Lowy
Girl #1: Let’s take a picture! It’ll be cute! Hee, hee, hee.
Girl #2: No way! I just ate!
–65th & Madison
Overheard by: gabe wigrom
WASP man: Yeah. I suffered in jail for 16 years with my first wife. My second wife died of cancer after 5 years. I’ve been married to this one a year and a half…Two out of three’s not bad; if this were baseball, I’d be making a mint.
–A train
Overheard by: Lia
Teen girl: So I read that article and cried and cried until my Mom was
like, “Stop crying. You’re retarded.”
–1 train
Girl #1: Foods do not make attractive accessories…We are not a society of Homer Simpsons
Girl #2: Homer didn’t have food accessories.
Girl #1: But don’t you think he’d have liked them?
–L train
Overheard by: Kitty
Guy #1: Why don’t we make him escaping a bank robbery?
Guy #2: Okay, he just robbed a bank and now he’s eating lunch with his girlfriend.
–12th & University
Overheard by: reggae sarkar
