Food

Hobo: Man, can you spare some change so I can buy a slice of pizza?
Brit guy: I haven’t got any pizza.

–104th & Broadway

Overheard by: Ron Caldwell

Dude: So you gonna give me some fuckin’ money? Give me some fuckin money! I don’t have two quarters to rub together; I can’t
even call my wife. Give me some fuckin’ money!
Lawyer man: I’m not going to give you any money.
Dude: Give me some fuckin’ money! You are my sister! I have no money!
Woman: I’m not giving you any money when you are acting like a criminal.
Restaurant guy: Sir, you need to calm down or I will have to call the police.
Dude: Don’t tell me what to fucking do. I just got out of Rikers Island!
Restaurant guy: Well sir, do you want to go back there? You need to leave or take the conversation outside.

–Pasta Lovers, Kew Gardens

Overheard by: Amanda

Mom: Honey, smile!
Teen girl: Supermodels don’t smile.

–Central Park

Overheard by: D. Lowy

Girl #1: Let’s take a picture! It’ll be cute! Hee, hee, hee.
Girl #2: No way! I just ate!

–65th & Madison

Overheard by: gabe wigrom

WASP man: Yeah. I suffered in jail for 16 years with my first wife. My second wife died of cancer after 5 years. I’ve been married to this one a year and a half…Two out of three’s not bad; if this were baseball, I’d be making a mint.

–A train

Overheard by: Lia

Girl #1: Foods do not make attractive accessories…We are not a society of Homer Simpsons
Girl #2: Homer didn’t have food accessories.
Girl #1: But don’t you think he’d have liked them?

–L train

Overheard by: Kitty

Guy #1: Why don’t we make him escaping a bank robbery?
Guy #2: Okay, he just robbed a bank and now he’s eating lunch with his girlfriend.

–12th & University

Overheard by: reggae sarkar

Girl #1: Randy won’t stop coming on my face.
Girl #2: …Are you going to finish your bagel?

–Waverly & University

Overheard by: S.A.F.

Guy: I don’t need a bag, thanks.
Store lady: You’re going to carry that in your hand?
Guy: Yeah.
Store lady: That’s fine with me. I love customers who don’t want bags.
Guy: Why waste them, right?
Store lady: Yeah. People need to recycle. They keep cutting down more and more trees for these bags.
Guy: …Yeah.
Store lady: Plastic bags are made out of trees, right?
Guy: …Well, no…
Store lady: Oh, I think it’s paper bags that are made out of trees.

–Duane Reade, 22nd & Park