Baby face cop #1: I don't know…I'd like to use the mini marshmallows in mine.
Baby face cop #2: Yeah, I guess so, cutting up the big ones is just a pain in the ass.
Baby face cop #1: Yeah, but still that ambrosia recipe is way better!
–Elevator in Courthouse
Guy to girl: All I know about your baby is that as long as it's in your stomach, it's not gonna be underfed. I wouldn't be surprised if it came out with a chicken wing in its mouth.
–MacDougal & 3rd St
Overheard by: Jaco
Older hipster man, in front of organic section: So these eggs are tortured chicks, and these are non-tortured chicks… Hmmm…
–Fairmay Market, Red Hook
Overheard by: RStein
Black guy: Yo, black guy! Where is the nearest place I can get fried chicken? I want some fried chicken and grape soda!
–Union Square
Random guy on escalator: Fuck anime, I can't wait for that juicy buffalo chicken sandwich.
–Kinokuniya Bookstore
Overheard by: Chris Coll
Customer: So what do I feed it?
Manager: Give it crickets, 2 or 3 times a week.
Employee: You’ve got to feed it crickets 2 or 3 times a week.
Manager: Otherwise it takes greens and fruit.
Employee: Or greens and fruit.
Customer: What kind of greens?
Manager: Lettuce.
Customer: Regular lettuce or romaine?
Manager: Romaine.
Employee: It needs romaine.
Manager: Kale, chard.
Employee: Kale, chard.
Manager: Anything leafy and green it’ll eat.
Employee: Anything leafy and green.
Customer: So it’s OK if I leave it for a weekend or a week?
Manager: Yeah, just throw some lettuce in there with it before you go.
Employee: You got that?
–Petland Discounts, Bensonhurst
Son: Dad, can we buy Popsicles?
Dad: Why don’t we make our own at home?
Son: Yay! I want to make seltzer flavor!
Dad, sighing: Well, that would just be an ice cube.
–C-Town, Park Slope
Overheard by: Hiland
Girl: I wish I hadn’t eaten those pancakes for breakfast. I feel sick. Thanks a lot.
Guy: “Thanks a lot”? All you wanted to do this morning was eat pancakes!
Girl: What? I just wanted oatmeal. You are the one who woke up and said, “Yay! Let’s make pancakes!” You are the one who wanted them!
Guy: That’s because last night you said you wanted pancakes!
Girl: Oh. I was drunk.
–Houston & B
Overheard by: alison
Bald, dorky white guy on date: What kind of Italian restaurant doesn’t have Chicken Parmesan on the menu?
Homely-looking white girl on date: I know.
–Isola, 83rd & Columbus
Fortysomething dude: Don’t tell me I don’t know about metabolism! I have known about metabolism my entire life. Metabolize yourself!
–The Gate, Park Slope
Overheard by: Moochy and D-Rock
Girl on cell: I don’t want to talk about your eating disorder every fucking time we talk!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: mondo man
Girl #1: I just don’t think I’m his type. He’s very intellectual.
Girl #2: What do you mean?
Girl #1: He’s all “yada yada yada” and I’m very “What’s your favorite Starburst?”
–Cosi, 31st & Park
Overheard by: Clara
Girl #1: Ha, ha, you said first was the worst.
Girl #2: No, I said, “first was the burst.”
Girl #1: What the heck does that mean?
Girl #2: It means…Starburst.
–M104 bus
Overheard by: Fatty McFingers
Construction worker #1 to #2: I don't think I want a rub and tug. You want a rub and tug?
Construction worker #2: Is it spicy?
–Broadway & Waverly
Comedy club promoter: Do you like asparagus?
Random person: No.
Comedy club promoter: Me either!
–14th St & Broadway
Overheard by: shayshay
