Chirpy British lady: Ah, you like that all ovah, then?
Man with tattooed arms: … Uh, a little bit [disembarks].
Chirpy British lady smiles around at other passengers.
–3 train
Overheard by: Hilary
Chirpy British lady: Ah, you like that all ovah, then?
Man with tattooed arms: … Uh, a little bit [disembarks].
Chirpy British lady smiles around at other passengers.
–3 train
Overheard by: Hilary
Jamaican nanny on cell: Girl, I just got back from a four day vacation. Where? My bed. We fucked nonstop for four days like dogs. I couldn’t even get out to take a shit.
Mother: Excuse me, there are children around.
Jamaican nanny: Fuck the children!
–Food Emporium, UWS
Overheard by: Dan
Old Turk #1: Hello!
Old Turk #2: How are you?
Old Turk #1: Where have I seen you before?
Old Turk #2: I don’t know!
–Kennedy International Airport
Fat Midwestern girl: Is your dad a miner?
Thin European woman: Yes, he is!
Fat Midwestern girl: For how long has he been a miner?
Thin European woman, proudly: Thirty years!
Fat Midwestern girl: He’ll be dead in 10 years.
–Q train
British lady: It must have eaten some rat poison, because it vomited up its innards and then had just enough strength left to crawl to the door before dying in a dainty pool of blood.
–1 train
Teacher to girl who just cut herself with Exacto knife: Would you stop leaking?! Your blood is going to stain the linoleum!
–Bronx Science engineering class
Overheard by: LSB
Suit on cell: Why isn’t it done? Why isn’t it fucking done? Was it your intention to make my ass bleed today? Was it?
–41st & Broadway
Girl: My grandma always washes my bloody underwear.
–1 train
Guy to girlfriend: Your hair tastes like fake blood.
–Mulberry St
Overheard by: Ashley
Teen chick on cell: I’m going to cut my arm tonight to show you how much I love you! Yes! I’m going to cut it off! Yes! I’m going to wipe all the blood on a napkin and give it to you. How much blood there is is how much I love you… Yes! I! Am! Well, I can’t think of another way to show you how much I love you. I have to prove it somehow! Oh, I have another call, I gotta go.
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal
Overheard by: still recovering
Hobo, taking long drink from water fountain: Ahhh, water is good! It tastes like blood!
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Oh My God
French hipster girl: I got allergies in New York.
Hipster boy: How can you tell they’re allergies and not a cold? I mean, it’s winter.
French hipster girl: Well, I know because the back of my thong is itchy.
–JFK
Foreign lady: So, a couple of years ago my country floated away from Venezuela.
Foreign man: Good for you!
–1 train
Russian guy, about the cold: Ah, such beautiful weather, I love it!
Daughter: Mmm-hmmm, whatever.
Russian guy: If I was a negro, I wouldn’t like this weather, either.
–Orloff Ave, Bronx
TA: Is anyone in here Canadian? Good. I didn’t want to offend anyone.
–NYU
Woman with thick German accent about people with thick Indian accents: You can’t understand anything these people say because of their accents!
–LaGuardia airport
Overheard by: Lolo
Girl on cell: They are Mexicans dressed up as soccer moms in minivans dressed up as dirty Mexicans, and on the back of their minivans they have a Mexican flag and a bumper sticker that says, ‘Cross country is my favorite sport’!
–Train from Secaucus to Penn Station
Overheard by: uulovesuu
Foreign street vendor to another: If you kill a German, it’s different.
–Prince & Greene St
Shocked waiter to very smug waiter: Whoa! You’re even more expensive than a Russian girlfriend!
–Bread restaurant, Prince St
Overheard by: Sheila Michaels
English exchange student: I like New York, but it has just been so cold!
Local student: This is nothing. Where I’m from in Minnesota it’s been 15 below.
English exchange student: Wow! You must not have much of a homeless problem there — they all just die!
–Downtown M4 bus
