Wednesday One-Liners Get Their Washington Square Park On

Mother, during tour: I noticed a lot of students have piercings. Can you recommend a good place around here?

–NYU

Grad student on cell: Hey, it's me. Tomorrow, dress appropriately. It's supposed to be 65, so I'll bring a frisbee. Afterward, I want to go to your place because there's certain things I want to do, and your place is much more (pause) conducive for certain activities.

–NYU

Overheard by: DrNels

Girl to another: I used to drink sangria before my classes at NYU.

–Rockefeller Center

NYU student to friend: Man, you gotta remember, you gotta know–you have to stuff that bitch. You gotta know.

–Weinstein Hall, University Place

NYU law student: You know what I love about this building? It smells like a new BMW.

–NYU Law Building

Posted on March 10, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Cars and Driving, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Education, Fashion, Friends, Girls, Home, Sweet Home, Moms, Nicknames & name calling, NYU, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Physical appearance, Questions, Rockefeller Center, Scents of the City, School and studying, Sensory Experiences, Students, The Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Do Wednesday One-Liners Make You Hot?

20-something guy dressed as Edward Cullen for Halloween: So anyway, I walk in, and they are both sitting there, playing with each other's erections…

–Bedford Ave & Berry St

Overheard by: Marie Miller Barnes

Ginger kid in audience, as photo of awkward Asian teen sticking banana in his mouth is projected on movie screen: I am definitely aroused.

–Tisch School of the Arts

Joggers to another: Raging hard-ons!

–Prospect Park, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Katie

20-something girl to another: How could he not go out with you? I mean, you gave him a boner at Relay For Life!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Becca

Posted on March 10, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Dating, Erections, Fruit, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Horny, Kids, One-liners, Questions, School, Sex, Street, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Living in a State Of Bliss Has Erased My Memory

Girl: Dave! I haven't seen you in ages! How are you?
Dave, completely serious: Who are you?

–St. Mark's Place

Posted on March 9, 2010
Girls, Guys, Questions, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

Russell Brand Himself Would Agree With Me

Guy: Okay: he's bad, but he's not that bad.
Girl: No, seriously! He's like Miley fucking Cyrus. Fucking annoying, way too into himself, and everywhere. He is the Party in the USA.
Guy: Dude!

–4th Ave & 9th St

Posted on March 7, 2010
About Celebrities, Celebrations/Parties, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Guys, Insults, Union Square and East Village

This Is My Last Date Through EHorrormony

Girl leaving apartment: Are you fucking for real? A gas mask!?
Guy, following: What do you mean?
Girl: You think I'm going to have sex with you after that?!
Guy: Huh… I still don't get it?
Girl: If you don't get how a gas mask and sword don't work, I can't help you!

–Greenpoint

Overheard by: Smokey

Posted on March 6, 2010
Brooklyn, Girls, Guys, Questions, Sex, Stupidity

…Everyone Knows I Make a Better Clooney.

Girl #1, about theater: Would you guys mind doing some role play?
Girl #2: Jeez, Jessica*! I didn't know you were so kinky!
Girl #3: I get to be George Clooney!
Girl #1: I hate everybody.

–Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

Posted on March 4, 2010
About Celebrities, Fast Times at New York High, Girls, Gripes, Queens, Theater & Dance

We'd Like to Thank Wednesday One-Liner for This Emmy

Chick to friend: I've been really committed to learning about Jesus lately. Can you believe how crazy it is that Jesus was in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights? I mean, like, no food or water for that long? Crazy! I mean, I never even realized how crazy it was until I saw David Blaine do it.

–R Train

Dreaded hobo, evangelizing: You gotta be able to suck dick to accept the love of Jesus Christ!

–40th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: melissa

Dude: It's not gay if it's Jesus!

–Morningside Heights

Overheard by: Ladle

Fat Christian evangelist to another: Jesus had the computer technology to manipulate the atoms of water. That's why he could walk over the waves. That's how we convince the atheists.

–Union Square

Overheard by: smoking on the stoop

Hipster on cell: My aunt got a promotion at work. She's a big deal. If this were the bible, she would be Jesus' nephew.

–17th St & Broadway

Posted on March 3, 2010
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, BJs, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Christianity, Christians, Compare/Contrast, Computer, Crazies, Education, Fat People, Food, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hipsters, Hobos, Jesus, Jobs & Careers, Love, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Penis, Questions, Science, Street, Stupidity, Time, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners

The Best Part Is, She Means an Ice Cream Sundae.

Girl, loudly in silent computer lab: Is Sunday one word or two?
Friend, avoiding glares from students around the lab: One?
Girl, showing friend Word document with “sun day” written in it: It doesn't say that I'm spelling it wrong!

–Computer Lab, Columbia University

Posted on March 1, 2010
Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Friends, Girls, Questions, Stupidity, Words

Just Imagine If the Sprinklers Shot Milk!

Girl: Why are there sprinkler systems on the sides of the buildings?
Guy: That's what helps the buildings grow big and tall!

–Madison Square

Overheard by: I knew it

Posted on February 28, 2010
Age/Aging, Girls, Guys, Height, Madison Square Garden, Physical appearance, Questions

Some Books Are More About Look and Feel Than Content

Girl #1: You still haven't told me what you want for Christmas.
Girl #2: I don't know, um, I like books…
Girl #1: You like books, or you like reading books?

–F Train

Overheard by: Heidi

Posted on February 26, 2010
Books & Writing, Gifts, Girls, On the Subway, Questions, Stupidity, Wishes & desires

Girls