Guys

Bless Me, Father, for I Have Wednesday One-Linered

Man in cowboy hat, looking at large crowd surrounding a Jew for Jesus: Man, I can't compete with religion, all I got are card tricks! This sucks!

–Union Square

Overheard by: SilentRaver

Guy on cell: Why, is it because it's the blacks? (pause) Oh, I get it. It's the Baptists.

–Cosi, 13th & Broadway

Overheard by: Heather

Crazy creepster, going up to Catholic girls and screaming: Catholic schoolgirls rule!

–R Train

Overheard by: Amanduh

Tall, 40-something guy on cell: I don't know… I don't think I can go drunk to church.

–53rd St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Midtown Schmidtown

Woman: My husband is pissed because I skipped church for this shit!

–Medieval Festival, Ft. Tryon Park

How'd She Get Herself Pregnant, Anyway?

Guy: So she got all pissed at me cuz of what I said, but she asked me! And I'm gonna be blunt. I mean, if she's gonna go get herself pregnant, then yeah, she should get fixed up afterwards.
Girl: Damn straight.

–Park Ave & 36th St

Ted Comes Out to Ben

Guy #1: You guys should put on a musical next year!
Guy #2: We would, but a musical's pretty elaborate. I mean, we have plenty of girls who can sing, but no guys at all.
Guy #1: Oh! Then you should, like, do The Vagina Monologues, The Musical!
Guy #2: (stares)

–3rd Ave & 10th St

And Impossible With It Up, One Would Think

Boy: Man, this semester I'm going to fuck everyone. I'm gonna be a real man-whore.
Friends: Uh-huh.
Man leaving train: Someone should tell him it's hard to be a man-whore with his zipper down.

–F Train

That's Some Holly Golightly Ass Shit, Son.

Black guy #1, noticing a girl in oversized sunglasses: Damn! Look at this vintage-ass bitch!
Black guy #2: Even when I go downtown them shits ain't that big.

–50th & Broadway

Overheard by: so true… so true

That Diva's Been in the Dressing Room for Two Hours

Dude in white SUV to girl in inexplicably long line outside Macy's: What are you waiting for?
Girl in line: Jesus!

–34th St

Overheard by: Emz0r

Ann Coulter: See? See?

Dude: So what's up, man?
Homeboy: Same old grind man, you?
Dude: What's up with your girl?
Homeboy, all smiley: Oh, man! She just miscarried, thank god! I couldn't be happier, dun!
Dude: Oh, yeah?
Homeboy: Yeah, it was great! Thank god!
Dude: Okay. Peace, man.
Homeboy: Still smiling, no doubt kid, one!

–Bedford Ave & Myrtle Ave

Overheard by: krillz

I Lettered in It at Ohio State.

Girl: I have a sliver in my hand!
Guy: I will pick it out when we get home.
Girl: No, that's okay. I like picking at my skin.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Victoria

Atonal

Guy #1: What type of event it this?
Guy #2: Oh, it's a panel.
Guy #1: What kind of music is that?

–11th Ave & 52nd St

Overheard by: office peon

You Know That Was the Anniversary Of Our Third Open-Mouthed Kiss.

Guy, as scoreboard shows highlight of Derek Jeter diving into the crowd: Do you remember what day that was?
Girl: What day was that?
Guy: Why are you being a bitch?

–Yankee Stadium

Overheard by: Anthony

© 2026 OverheardinNewYork.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist