Wednesday One-Liners Bring Something Unique to the Table

Guy: I hope you got a fuckin' Dixie Cup, 'cause that's what you're gonna need to hold it!

–42nd & 5th

Middle aged suit, to no one in particular: Spoon! Spoooon! Spooooon!

–Au Bon Pain, Broad St

Overheard by: Sarah Booz

Young guy with backpack to young wife: Teacup, teacup, teacup, teacup, teacup.

–Sheridan Square

Crazy hobo on subway: Hey you! Did you take my spoon? I know you took my spoon! Why would you do that to a guy?

–Uptown 3 Train

Overheard by: Scared British Tourist

Indignant yuppie: I wanted to stab her with a fork! It's a good thing we were at a sushi restaurant.

–69th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Posted on December 16, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Assholes, Couples, Crazies, Crazy, Drinks, Ethnic Food, Guys, Hobos, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Stab, Strangers, Street, Suits, Thievery, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Yuppies

Wednesday One-Liners Star in P.S. – I Lavatory You

Guy, rushing into room: Guys, come here. I need a witness in the bathroom right now.

–Times Square

Screaming Latino stepping into urinal: Ah! Ah! Ah! Sorry y'all, I just got dem crabs, so it hurts when it comes out.

–South Ferry

Voice from cubicle emitting diarrhea sounds the day after Yom Kippur: Ugh, Jewish holidays.

–Broadway

Woman coming out of bathroom: I just heard the woman in the stall next to me say, "I love my ample taint."

–Astoria

Overheard by: Alison R

Posted on December 16, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Apologies, Body Parts, Ferry, Guys, Judaism, Latinos, Manhattan, Offers and requests, One-liners, Poop, Queens, Sensory Experiences, STDs, Strangers, Times Square, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Will Totally Steal Your Picnic Basket

20-something girl in chucks to another: No, I will not get rubber boots. What do I look like, fucking Paddington Bear?

–CVS

Boy: I bet if I had three of me I could take on a grizzly bear.

–Columbia

Overheard by: Megan

Small, well-dressed girl: I want to eat the heart of a bear!

–Bohemian Hall, Astoria

Overheard by: Joseph

Guy on cell: You don't even know what the Care Bears are about!

–Central Park

Overheard by: Fresca P.

Posted on December 16, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Astoria, Body Parts, Books & Writing, Boys, Central Park, Columbia, Compare/Contrast, Food, Girls, Guys, Insults, On Cell, One-liners, Parks, Physical appearance, Questions, Shoes, Store, TV, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Which Of the Three Stooges Is Which? Show Your Work.

Guy #1: I need more leg room.
Guy #2: I need more arm room.
Guy #3: I need more gas room.

–Astor Place Theater

Overheard by: Tracy

Posted on December 15, 2009
Body Parts, Guys, Theater, Union Square and East Village, Wishes & desires

Gosh, I Miss My 20's.

Guy: Whatcha drinkin' there?
Wasted girl: Jungle juice. I made my own… special… red elixir. Haha. My eyes aren't even open right now, are they?

–Party, Brooklyn

Posted on December 15, 2009
Body Parts, Brooklyn, Celebrations/Parties, Drinking & Drunk People, Drinks, Drunks, Girls, Guys, Questions

Boys Don't Multitask Very Well

Girl: So, what do you want to do? Get some food? Get on the train?
Boy: I just want to have sex with you.

–Court & Atlantic

Posted on December 13, 2009
Brooklyn, Food, Girls, Guys, Public Transportation, Questions, Sex, Wishes & desires

But She Wears the Cutest Little Crotchless Overalls

Dude #1: Paint stripper?
Dude #2: Prostitute stripper.
Dude #1: Ohhhhhhh.

–8th Ave & 52nd St

Overheard by: Chauncy

Posted on December 12, 2009
Guys, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Prostitution, Questions, Strippers

Totally Worth the Bad Breath

Big Guido: Yeah, and now he's going to recycle his urine!
Small squirmy dude: Woah, cool! He's gonna make a ton of money.

–9th Ave & 45th

Posted on December 11, 2009
Guidos, Guys, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Pee, Weirdness

And Moonwalking Inadvertantly.

Guy #1: You squattin?
Guy #2: Nah, just listening to Michael Jackson.

–Harlem New York Sports Club

Overheard by: Obvious Misunderstanding

Posted on December 10, 2009
Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Music, Questions

And Let's Not Forget About Gary Coleman! …Oh, Wait.

Guy #1: It's too bad, 'cuz the good child actors always grow up to be terrible adult actors.
Girl #1: Not always. You have people like Drew Barrymore…
Girl #2: Or Doogie Howser.
Guy #2: Neil Patrick Harris! He has a name!

–St. John the Divine Cathedral

Overheard by: Kaitlen

Posted on December 10, 2009
About Celebrities, Age/Aging, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Kids, Names, Theater & Dance