Australian guy, shocked at pixie chick peeing on nearby steps: Does that girl not have her pants on?!
Australian girl, unaware: What? [Both turn to stare.]
Pixie chick’s guy friend: Yes, that’s right! She’s peeing!
–St. Mark’s Pl, between 1st Ave & Ave A
Overheard by: justin
Girl: Wait, you know I got hit by a car, right?
Guy: What?!
Girl: Yeah, it happened the other day.
Guy: What happened?
Girl: Oh, I was just walking across the street and then this car came and hit me, and I fell down. This lady watching was all, ‘Oh my god, I thought you were dead, but then you got up.’ It was totally embarrassing.
Guy: Don’t you mean traumatic?
Girl: Well, that too. I mean, my skirt flew up when I fell…
–Stuyvesant High
Black guy #1, to white posse passersby: I hate white people!
Black guy #2: Yo, you can’t say that — this is Park Slope!
Black guy #1: Fuck that — I am white.
Black guy #2: What, you mean by proxy or something?
–Union St & 4th Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: One of the whiteys
Guy: I was in Vegas with my mother, and she was complaining that she was the only flat-chested girl in the city, but flat is totally in right now.
Girl: Flat’s been in since I was, like, thirteen.
–Macy’s
Overheard by: katieb
Dude #1: They don’t give you condoms?
Dude #2: Naw, they don’t.
Dude #1: You serious, man? No condoms?!
Dude #2: Yeah, I’m serious — they don’t give out condoms!
Dude #1: Really… They don’t give you condoms in prison, huh?
Dude #2: Naw, man, not unless you have conjugal visits or somethin’.
–M11 bus
Dude #1: I wish I could just retire and do whatever I wanted. I’d go to Yale Law School.
Dude #2: Yeah, I know, man. I’d move to the Caribbean and bartend.
–New Haven Line
Overheard by: I can see why they’re such good friends
Guy, after Bar results: Oh, hi there.
Girl: Hi.
Guy: So…
Girl: So… Big day.
Guy: Yeah. It’s big. Big day.
Simultaneously to one another: So you’re…
Girl: Happy?
Guy: Um. Yeah. Pretty happy. You?
Girl: I’m happy!
Together: Yeah!
Hobo: Shut the fuck up!
–5 train
Dude: It’s Kurt Cobain’s birthday soon.
Grungy hipster girl: Reeeally?
Skinny frat boy: Too bad he shot himself in the head.
Dude: Haha, yeah. Shotgun!
–New School dorm
Overheard by: Cameron
Girl: I met this guy last summer… He was French…
Guy: That means he was gay?
–1 train
Overheard by: olga torrey
Dude #1, burping loudly: I know you’re gassy if you have to fart a lot, but what are you if you have to burp a lot?
Dude #2: Same thing, in the opposite direction.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Wiley Willis
