Tourist guy: How do I get to Essex Street from here?
New Yorker guy: Go down about seven or eight blocks, make a left, and ask somebody there.
–St. Mark’s Pl & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Drew
Tourist guy: How do I get to Essex Street from here?
New Yorker guy: Go down about seven or eight blocks, make a left, and ask somebody there.
–St. Mark’s Pl & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Drew
Cute blonde: I like fucking you. No, I love fucking you.
Buff guy: Yeah.
Cute blonde: But if I suck your dick and you cum, you'll fall asleep.
Buff guy: How about you suck my dick and then I fuck you?
Cute blonde: That never happens. But if you come with me to my friend Sam's party, I'll suck your dick.
–4 Train
Girl: I haven’t talked to her since she left for college. How is she?
Guy: I don’t know, man…I haven’t heard from her either, so I guess she’s just, like, decaying or whatever.
–80th & East End
Overheard by: Anne O.
Girl #1 to girl #2: Wouldn't you just rather have a night where we just get really high and scissor?
–Grand & Union, Brooklyn
Guy on cell: So they're smoking crack and fucking on his mother's bed!
–17th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Dave
Little kid: Look, I'm on crack!
–Apple Store, Staten Island Mall
Overheard by: Robert
Junkie to junkie companion, standing in front of Band-Aids: I need to test positive for methadone and negative for everything else…
–Walgreens, Union Square
Hobo on train: Does anyone have any money for me? Any food? Any opium? Lots and lots of opium?
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: left my opium stash at home
20-something blond girl on cell: You just have to convince them that you care more about college than you do about drugs, and they'll give you another chance…that's what I did!
–Chinatown Bus
Overheard by: GavinJoyce
Tourist: So I called her up and said, "Come down or you're going to miss breakfast, and I want to have breakfast with you." And all she said was, "I really like opium." and I was like, "Oh, okay."
–33rd & 7th
Overheard by: EthanK
Little guy to big guy wearing fur hat: You know, wearing fur is murder.
Big guy wearing fur hat: So is me pushing you off the train.
–A Train
Guy: Hey, my brothers are in town.
Girl: Hey! Looks like there will be a whole set of teeth in the house!
Guy: You're a bitch.
–Wall St
Overheard by: Emily
Guy, to girl with bangs and big eyes: I like that… Cleopatra thing you got goin’ on there.
Girl, annoyed: Cleopatra? You think I look like Cleopatra?
Guy: Well, yeah.
Girl: Okay. (sighs) Can we just have sex now?
–W 4th St
Guy on phone: His dad’s, like, crazy, and he lives in a house all by himself, and the saddest thing is… the saddest thing is this guy’s dad is even uglier than our dad!
–Waverly Place b/w Mercer & Greene
Woman: Don’t even think about humping your father’s feet!
–President & Columbia
[Before the start of the NYC pillow fight.]Pillow-fighter: I’m gonna beat you all down like you were my daddy! [Hits people with his pillow.] Why weren’t you there, dad, why!?
–Union Square
Guy on cell: Hey dude, my flight has been delayed like an hour, yeah it does suck… [Pause.] Dude, from this point on I’m calling you "daddy". No: "big daddy". Yeah, hey big daddy…
–US Airways Terminal, Laguardia Airport
Little girl pointing at a grizzly bear: Daddy! Daddy!
–Museum of Natural History
Girl: Can we call a truce? Can we just say we won't bring this up again?
Guy: Well, you're the one who brought it up before.
Girl: That is bringing it up again!
–Chelsea Flea Market
Overheard by: Mike
Guy trying to plug laptop charger into outlet: Mind if I sneak this cord between your legs?
Girl near outlet: Sure! That sounds hot! It's the best offer I've gotten all day!
(guy blushes profusely)
–Think Coffee, Mercer St
Overheard by: Carmi
