Guy: Yeah, in the early nineties the American Embassy burned down from an apparent electrical fire, and when they inspected it, they found bugs in every wall and ceiling.
Girl: Ewww… That’s disgusting. I’m never going to Russia.
Guy: No, not actual… Never mind.
–53rd St
50-something suit: In many ways I enjoyed his funeral reception more than his wedding reception.
–PATH
Overheard by: Joe H.
Girl on cell: He died. They found his body. I don't know, somewhere in the Bronx. He was strangled or some shit. Yeah, he died from it. Oh shit, that's why I forgot to send you the invitation for the whatchacallit, the funeral.
–Rivington & Attorney
Overheard by: I wasn't invited either
Gay guy to friend: So I told John I would go to his funeral just to spit in his face!
–West Bank Cafe
60-something woman to another: So I'm glad I didn't go to his fucking bitch sister's funeral. But now he's mad.
–Central Park
20-something guy on cell: Just 'cause I did meth with his daughter doesn't mean I'm going to go to his funeral!
–7th Ave Subway Entrance
Guy: I need to shit.
Girl: You know, smoking will make you have to shit even more.
Guy: Yeah, I know, they’re laxatives.
Girl: They are?
–80th & 1st
Large bald man on Bluetooth: He got a fuckin' boo boo, that's all!
–Gramercy
Suit on cell: So, I haven't been electrocuted…yet.
–L Train
Elderly woman: I regret that she broke her arm. I do not regret pushing her down the stairs.
–E Train
Overheard by: Pat
Little boy: I hope the boo-boo goes away soon! My staple won't hold that long!
–23rd & Park Ave
Overheard by: Say what?
Guy on train to friend: Hey, would you still date a girl if she was in an industrial accident and had to wear a Darth Vader suit forever?
–6 Train
Man to friend: I don't know what made him think he could outrun an alligator!
–Sheridan Square
Overheard by: Lory
Father to young son: Holy shit, Joey, look at the turtles! They're stackin' and rackin' 'em!
–Central Park Zoo
Mom to kid, pointing to seal exhibit: Look! Otters!
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: Rebecca
Young man, joyfully throwing his arms in the air: Then all of the lemmings go off of the cliff!
–The Village
Overheard by: Aaron
Guy #1: I used to know the price of a bag of weed. Now I know the price of a pound of New Zealand apples.
Guy #2: Yeah, I know. I used to know the price of a lap dance from a good stripper. Now I know the price of an engagement ring.
Guy #1: What happened to you?
–33rd St & Broadway
Overheard by: Todd
Guy #1: Are you gonna go see Saw 3?
Guy #2: Nah, I’m not into movies like that.
Guy #1: Why not?
Guy #2: I’m more into dramas — you know, movies where you can actually believe that what’s happening is real. Like Superman.
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Don Willmott
Guy: Yeah, his nickname is ‘SpongeBob,’ because he looks just like him.
Girl: Oh?
Guy: Yeah, his head is really square, and he’s got this buzz cut…
Girl: Is he full of holes?
Guy: Well, sort of — he’s got eczema.
–Delancey & Orchard St
Straight guy #1: I love Queen.
Straight guy #2: Yeah, Queen is awesome.
Straight guy #3: I would totally go gay for Freddy Mercury. I’m just throwing that out there.
–22nd & 7th
Overheard by: Lolito
Flea: I eat four boxes of blueberries a day; it makes my cock big.
–Randall’s Island
Overheard by: AJIN
