Annoying tween: Oh my god, my dad made me use this, like, Salon brand shampoo. Oh my god, look at this volume! There's nothing! (two friends nod) And, guess what? It also smells like llama spit! (two friends look confused) You want to know how I know what llama spit smells like? My dad once got spat on in the face by a llama!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Lily
Drunk girl to hipster boyfriend: How come my hair always gets stuck in your mustache?!
Boy: I don't have a mustache.
Drunk girl: You know what I meant, boy! A beard! My hair always gets caught on it! Do you ever get food in there? Or coffee? Do you get a little sick if you sleep with a wet mustache? (pause) Oh, I'm just messing… (laughs at herself) but I hope you've been washing that thing with shampoo and conditioner every day!
–West Village
Hair salon promo girl to blonde and brunette girls: Hey there! Do you live in New York? Are you interested in getting a great haircut?
Blonde girl: I don't have any hair.
–Times Square
Asian girl: Your hair was so soft when you were a baby, I couldn't put a shirt on you because it would slip off.
Little sister: Haha! (pause) I don't get it.
–R Train
Girl to nun asking for money: No, thank you sweetie.
Nun: Huh! Must be that wig you got on.
Girl: Excuse me… What did you just say?
Nun: Don't disrespect me!
Girl: Are you kidding me? I don't have to give you anything! Who are you to make a comment about my hair!?
–Bryant Park
Pretty brunette: Oh my god! I haven't seen you in forever! Look at you, you dyed your hair. It looks great!
Pretty blonde: Oh, thanks! Hah, yeah, I did it a year ago. I wanted to change things up a little.
Pretty brunette, in jest: So, is it true? Do you have more fun now?
Pretty blonde, sighing earnestly: Ugh. Kind of, but it's always short-lived. I actually have a lot of hookups with guys who have no interest in ever seeing me again after that. It kind of sucks. And actually, this definitely started when I dyed my hair…
Pretty brunette: Oh, uhm, I was kind of joking.
Pretty blonde: Yeah, well… I wasn't.
Pretty brunette, uncomfortably: Oh.
–86th & Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: a blonde who hasn't noticed this
Young Jersey gay boy going to pride parade: Oh my god, my thighs are so pasty. And hairy!
Friend: Yeah, it's like someone cut their hair over a bowl of sour cream.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: JBe
Older woman: What do you think of my hair?
Woman: It looks great!
Older woman: I hate it, I'm having a bad hair day.
Woman: It looks fine, mom.
–Central Park
20-something woman #1: She's an adult, and she still doesn't know how to blow dry her own hair!
20-something woman #2: I know! And she looks like shit when she comes into work.
20-something woman #1: It's absolutely disgusting!
20-something woman #2: Everyone is all wearing makeup and she's just not!
20-something woman #1: I know it's not in your job contract to blow dry your hair, but come on!
–1 Train
Platinum blonde chick: I had another nightmare last night.
Friend: About what?
Platinum blonde chick: Dyeing my hair black.
–Elevator, Pratt Institute
