Blonde: Can you say ‘Happy Passover’ to someone?
Brunette: Passover is a happy holiday, I think. ‘Cause it’s about food and stuff.
Blonde: Okay. I wasn’t sure. ‘Cause, you know, Jesus died, so I dunno how that works. That’s not too happy…
–Olympic Diner, 8th Ave
Sophomore #1: So yeah, my week off was really interesting. What about yours?
Sophomore #2: Boring. My brother fell off a balcony.
–Notra Dame Academy, Staten Island
Overheard by: The junior at the next table
Dude: Have you ever been to jail on Saint Patrick’s Day?
Girl: No. No, I have not.
Dude: It’s a party! It is such a party!
–Forest Hills
Overheard by: SB
Student #1: Today is our first day of classes.
Student #2: Yeah, and it’s Martin Luther King’s birthday today.
Student #1: Most other schools are closed on Martin Luther King Day, but we’re open.
Student #2: Does that make our school racist?
–185th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Anthony Ross
Thug to tourist taking picture: Yeah, bitch, I’m in your picture! I’m in your picture! Put it on MySpace, bitch!
–W 34th & 7th
Overheard by: nisey79
Thug to friend: Nigga, it’s hard to explain… It looked… like a decorated cosine curve!
–110th & Lenox
Overheard by: Curly Ku
Thugette to thug boyfriend: This ain’t Valentine’s Day. You slap me I’ll slap you back!
–Bronx-bound D train
Overheard by: Krissss
Thug to his baby, after carrying her stroller down the subway steps: Woo-hah, I got you all in check.
–6 train station, 59th St
Overheard by: Jackie
Thug: Shit. Jimmy Hoffa’s lucky he don’t gotta pay taxes.
–Brooklyn-bound F train
Overheard by: In debt on the F train
Thug: That thang was so big you could put a whole paragraph on it!
–6 train
Little nephew: The kids who celebrate Kwanzaa at my school said that Santa Claus doesn’t exist.
Drunk uncle: You should tell them that the myth of a college education and a prosperous life that they belief in are an even bigger lie!
–Penthouse, Park Ave
Man #1: Yo, man. I hate the holidays.
Man #2: Yeah, I know.
Man #1: All them damned people come. Subways get so crowded. And yo, man, men try to stand behind my woman!
Man #2: That’s not right.
Man #1: I’ll hit you if you stand behind my woman, I don’t care if it’s Christmas. That’s my woman, man. Only I get to stand behind my woman.
Man #2: That’s your right, man.
Man #1: Damned tourists don’t know how it works here, man.
–4 train
Overheard by: Redshikari
Man: You know that Santa Claus doesn’t exist, right?
Six-year-old boy: No, he does exist. When I wrote him a letter and asked him for pink Plush Puppies, I got them on Christmas.
Man: Dude, then you are a serious homosexual. What kind of boy asks for pink Plush Puppies?
–Rockaway
Overheard by: Bully
Chick: I’m so glad for those, uh, Ramadan people.
Friend: Muslims?
Chick: Yeah, the UN was closed and I got to sit at home watching soap operas and eating cereal.
–6 train
