Douche #1: I just wanted to be like: “bitch, shut the fuck up.”
Douche #2: Yeah. She’s not hot enough to talk to you like that.
–53rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Andy
Douche #1: I just wanted to be like: “bitch, shut the fuck up.”
Douche #2: Yeah. She’s not hot enough to talk to you like that.
–53rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Andy
Guy: Wait, what part of New York is Chicago in?
Girl: What?! Chicago isn’t in New York! Chicago is its own state.
Guy: No, it’s not a state! It’s called the “windy city.”
Girl: Oh, right. I guess it is in New York then.
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: Hang on, I’ll look it up on my blackberry.
–Fordham University
Customer: Can I get an eggplant and mozzarella sandwich?
Employee: We outta eggs.
Customer: No, not eggs… Eggplant.
Employee: We outta eggs.
Customer: But eggplant and eggs are two entirely different things…
Employee, winking: The customer is always right.
–Au Bon Pain, Greenwich Village
Overheard by: Caelster
Girl #1: I don’t understand why he was so upset. It’s not like I was being insensitive or anything.
Girl #2: Are you serious? You asked him if he had aids!
Girl #1: Yea, but only because he said he was gay!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Timmy Lee
Blonde with group of tourists: Is New Jersey that way? [Points toward the west.]New Yorker: Yes, but there’s a river between here and there.
Blonde with group of tourists: You mean we can’t walk there?
New Yorker: Not really.
Blonde with group of tourists: Damn girls, what are we going to do tonight? We can’t go to Jersey and there’s nothing to do in New York.
–40th & 6th
Overheard by: Jersey, the state that never sleeps.
Loud girl #1: I lost my sandals at the beach!
Loud girl #2: Oh my God, now it’s probably floating somewhere in the Pacific Ocean!
–Bay Terrace Shopping Center, Queens
Overheard by: doesn’t anybody pay attention in global anymo
Girl: I’m afraid of water.
Dude #1: I don’t get that. I mean, aren’t we all like 70 percent water or something? Or wait, is that only some people?
Dude #2: She’s talking about being afraid of the ocean, not drinking water.
Dude #1: Ohhh.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: standing in front of them, unfortunately
Guy hearing fireworks go off: Wow! Listen to the fireworks! Or maybe it’s the Soviet Union bombing Manhattan!
Girl, obviously unimpressed: Yeah, they totally need to make a comeback.
–3rd & 5th
Hot blonde: Do they kick in kick boxing?
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: haha
Tourist pointing to a church: Is that the Chrysler Building?
–E 10th & Broadway
Little boy, when train jerks to a stop: Did we just hit a deer?
–Manhattan-bound N train
Overheard by: paratactical
Teen tourist: Look, I know you guys have, like, musical theatres on Broadway and stuff, but do you guys have movie theaters?
–Canal & Broadway
Tourist pointing at S train car: This is the bus that will take us to Times Square, right?
–Platform for shuttle from Grand Central to Times Square
Overheard by: the answer is yes, but you’re not right
Young girl on phone: Hells yeah, I walked out of that class! I don’t even get why we still learn about immigration. I mean, who the fuck takes boats here anymore?
–23rd & Lex
