On the Plus Side, You Don't Have to Fight Any Wars in His Name

Beggar to two girls: Jesus loves you.
Girl #1: No, he doesn't.
Beggar: Yes, he does! Jesus loves everyone!
Girl #2: Yeah, okay.
Beggar: But he does, he loves you!
Girl #1: No, really, he doesn't. She's Jewish.
Beggar: Shit, I'm sorrrry.

–8th & Broadway

Overheard by: Madelyn

Posted on March 23, 2015
Girls, Hobos, Jesus, Judaism, The Village

Excuses for Everyone Else, Yeah

Guy: Which one of you woke up late this morning, you or your momma?
Daughter: Oh, my mom.
Mom: No, I didn’t oversleep, I just got caught up doing schoolwork.
Guy: Shoot, do you think Jesus had excuses when he was dying on the cross?

–B67 bus

Posted on March 5, 2015
Guys, Jesus, Kids, Moms, On the Bus, Parents, School and studying

…They Were Christians

Professor: Martin Luther King, Jr had women in his hotel room. He was running around on Coretta.
Student: Maybe, they were studying the bible.
(class laughs)
Professor: Well, she may have been calling out Jesus's name. But they sure as hell weren't reading the bible.
Slow girl, five minutes later: Oh, I get it. Ew!

–Baruch College

Overheard by: kteezy

Posted on March 2, 2015
Christianity, College, History & Geography, Jesus, Laughter, Sex, Students, Teachers/Professors

But I Still Don’t Think That’s a Good Enough Reason to Be Nailing Me to This Cross

Jamaican girl #1: Well, you know Jesus Christ?
Jamaican girl #2: Yeah, I know him.
Jamaican girl #1: Well, he’s really really nice, ya know? But not everyone likes him…It’s the same thing with you.
Jamaican girl #2: Oh, ok. I understand what you’re saying.

–Uptown D train

Overheard by: EllieB

Posted on February 23, 2015
Foreigners, Jesus, On the Subway, White Trash

So You Know His Father Was No Help

Older Puerto Rican woman: Did you hear about the story of the Dominican woman who locked up her son for 25 years?
(disinterested friend shakes head)
Older Puerto Rican woman: He was gorgeous… beautiful. You know who he looked like?
Disinterested friend: Who?
Older Puerto Rican woman: Jesus Christ!

–106th St & 3rd Ave