Asian Kid: The fucking Triads are on your tail, bitch. Run!
Hispanic Kid: Fuck that! The Latin Kings will pump lead into your asses.
Black Kid: Nah, the Bloods and Crips will beat you down.
Jewish Kid: Yo…Um…I’ll get my yarmulke peoples to smack you all, son. What now nigga spic chink bitch ho? Suck my matzoh balls, bitch!
–Canal Street
Overheard by: Jonathan Harris
Dude #1: I want a new printer but they’re too expensive.
Dude #2: Yeah, I know what you mean. I want to find a good cheap one.
Homeless busybody: Cheap?! That’s why you’re a fucking Jew!
Dude #2: Actually I’m not Jewish, but I’m glad you’re homeless!
–W. 4th St.
Bearded Jewish guy with palm-leaf thingy: Sir, are you Jewish?
Passer-by: Why? Are you a Nazi?
–5th Ave & E 9th St
Overheard by: richardnixon
Diner: How adorable! Confirmation?
Mother, with two adorable little girls in white dresses: Communion. No, wait. Baptism.
Diner: Whatever. I'm Jewish.
–Pizzeria Uno, 81st St & Columbus
Old Jewish lady #1: Maybe today we should go to Flashdancers.
Old Jewish lady #2: Oh yes, yes, I could look at some ta-tas.
–70th & 3rd
Overheard by: liz
Elderly lady to coughing woman sitting across the room: Do you have something in your throat? Cuz I could slap it out for you.
–Doctor's Waiting Room
Old lady to pharmacy tech: Yeah, I always have an ice cream cone when I see the truck. It's such a nice treat. (pauses) Plus, you never know–this could be my last one.
–Jackson Heights
Overheard by: Queens Newsbunny
Very old frail-looking woman leaving crowded train: Goddamned people and their fucking backpacks!
–6 Train
Old man on cell: Hello? (pause) I'm at the crack shack. (pause) Well, you look like a raccoon. (pause) This is the first I've been outside all year!
–Madison Square Park
Old Jewish woman, in Russian: My grandchildren are total fucks.
–Coney Island
Black guy on cell: Broadway is all gays and Jews and frankly I am sick of it.
–47th St & 8th
Jewish son: I did not call the rabbi to have him check up on you!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: NosyMormon
Suit on cell: Oh yes, I know all about you. You do crazy things. You eat rice on Pesach.
–Fancy Restaraunt, 79th St
Hobo: I bet if I put up a sign that said "hungry Jew," I'd be getting a ton of money thrown at me.
–98th St & Broadway
Old Jewish woman, exiting store with young woman: I know it's silly, but it was German. They killed six million Jews in Germany. I don't like to buy things that were made in Germany.
–Queens
20-something girl to friend: That Jew laid the spank on her!
–30th Ave, Astoria
Cop to another: Are you drunk yet?
–Corner of 145th St
Frustrated-sounding NYU student to friend: Well, why don't you get a girl and you can just pretend she's drunk?
–Washington Square
Future rabbi: So my philosophy professor, Lenny Kravitz, told us we'll be drinking scotch in class tomorrow…
–4th & Broadway
Drunk black guy arguing on phone: Man, you need to stop drinkin'. Not only is yo speech gettin' slurred, but yo brains is gettin' slurred too!
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Ashley
Dude to friend: I swear to god, every time he gets a little buzzed he thinks he's Austin Powers.
–40th & 7th
Overheard by: thivnav
Jewish guy on cell: I finally got evangelized this week! (pause) It wasn't as much fun as I thought it was going to be.
–121st & Broadway
Lady on cell: Have fun with the… what do you call them… Oh, people!
—Shakespeare in the Park Line, Central Park
Overheard by: Megan W.
20-something male looking at painting: Hangings probably aren't as fun as they look.
–MoMa
Kid to his mother: Wow! The critics were right, this is the most fun you can have while sitting down!
–Outside Hairspray
Overheard by: DeDra
Orthodox Jewish man #1: We're sending her to Westchester for her eating disorder.
Orthodox Jewish man #2: Is that like a fat farm? Maybe she'll lose weight.
–Manhattan Beach Park
Overheard by: Vespertinas
