Is Anyone Crazier Than White People? Discuss.

Intelligent-looking girlfriend: How's she going to run a marathon in 60 minutes?
Intelligent-looking boyfriend, indifferently: It's impossible.
Intelligent-looking girlfriend: I mean, not even those crazy black people can run that fast.
Intelligent-looking boyfriend, unfazed: I know.
Intelligent-looking girlfriend: I mean, I can't even drive that fast in the city!
Intelligent-looking boyfriend: Um… I hope you can go 26 miles in one hour.
Intelligent-looking girlfriend: Oh, right. I'm sorry. I was thinking 60 miles an hour. It's the vodka talking. Now kiss me once nicely, without whiskers.
(two minutes later)
Intelligent-looking girlfriend: I remember the first time I showered with you and I had this big snot coming out my nose.
Intelligent-looking boyfriend: I remember the first time I slept with you, and farted a lot.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Rick

Posted on October 22, 2009
Boyfriends, Cars and Driving, Cleanliness, Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Excretions, Farting & Burping, Girlfriends, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Nostalgia, On the Subway, Race, Sports, Time

Vincent D'Onofrio's Fan Base: Explained.

Girl #1: I cant believe you made out with him!
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: He's not even your type!
Girl #2: What do you mean? He's exactly my type!
Girl #1, exasperated: He has Asperger's!
Girl #2, matter of factly: Exactly!

–Union Square

Posted on October 18, 2009
Girls, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Physical appearance, Psychology, Questions, Union Square and East Village

My Whole Day Was Weird Like That

20-something #1: And she was telling me how she was going out with Mike that night and I was saying to myself, “that's kind of weird, because I made out with him first.”
20-something #2: Did you say that?
20-something #1: Well, I had to say something. And she said, “don't worry, he'll be the last guy we share.”

–F Train

Posted on September 11, 2009
Girls, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, On the Subway, Sloppy Seconds, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners, with Tongue.

College girl to friend, disappointed: You know? I only made out with one of them…

–NYU Dorm

(hobo shakes can with change and interrupts couple in heated makeout session)
Bitchy girlfriend, shrieking: Seriously? Seriously? Are you seriously asking me now? We're in the middle of making out. Seriously?

–Ave B & 7th St

Overheard by: friend of the mole people

Guido to another: When you're makin' out, the next thing you know, you could be bangin'.

–Staten Island

Girl to guy friend: Once you get married, we are never going to be able to make out anymore.

–Houston & Mulberry

Man to friend: It's like that time I saw two women on walkers making out. I love New York!

–45th & 10th

Overheard by: Drunk

Posted on September 9, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Couples, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guidos, Hobos, Infidelity, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Lower East Side, Marriage, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, NYU, One-liners, Only in New York, Promiscuity, Questions, Sorority Girls, Staten Island, Street, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

No More SVU for You, Young Man

Seven-year old Hispanic kid: I kiss girls.
Five-year old Hispanic kid: Ew! You kiss girls!
Seven-year old Hispanic kid: Na na na! I kiss little girls.

–D Train

Posted on September 1, 2009
Age/Aging, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Kids, Latinos, On the Subway

Reader Poll: Are They Having a Good Night or a Bad Night?

Punk kid #1, annoyed: Maaaan, I gotta go to a party tonight.
Punk kid #2, irritated: I just made out with a girl!

–Battery Park

Posted on August 20, 2009
Battery Park, Celebrations/Parties, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Punks

When Torch Songs Become Deli Commercials

Girlfriend: Do you know what I'm obsessed with?
Boyfriend: No.
Girlfriend: Do you know what I'm obsessed with?
(pause)
Girlfriend: Olive loaf!
(they proceed to make out)

–38th St b/w 7th & 8th

Overheard by: Julia H.

Posted on August 6, 2009
Couples, Food, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions

Nature: 2 Nurture: 0

Hyper five-year-old boy #1, shocked: And in France, men kiss each other! On the cheek!
Hyper five-year-old boy #2, mumbling: Wow, I wish I was French.
Hyper five-year-old boy #1, puzzled: Wait, what?
Hyper five-year-old boy #2, disgruntled, sighing: Nothing.

–Coldstone Creamery

Overheard by: Kat

Posted on August 6, 2009
Body Parts, Gays and Lesbians, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Kids, Store, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

…But Only to See His Avocados.

Party girl #1 looking at camera: Whoa… When did this happen?
Party girl #2: Oh, this was awesome. Guacamole make-out sessions. He was all like “I just wanna kiss you with all kinds of sloppy dips between our lips.”
Party girl #1: So you did? And you got a picture?
Party girl #2: Hell yeah!
Party girl #1: You are so going home with him tonight, aren't you?
Party girl #2: Hell yeah!

–Studio B, Banker St, Brooklyn

Posted on August 2, 2009
Bars & Clubs, Bimbettes, Brooklyn, Ethnic Food, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Pictures, Questions, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

And It Looked Funny, 'cause They All Had Mustaches

Child: I turned on the channel and then mommy started yelling “no, no, turn it off!”
Mother: She found a porn channel.
Child: I liked it, because everyone was kissing.

–Penn Station

Posted on July 30, 2009
Families, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Kids, Moms, Parents, Penn Station, Porn, TV

K-I-S-S-I-N-G