(mother is running down the street, dragging two howling three-year-old boy twins)
Twin #1: I wanna take a taxi!
Twin #2: I wanna take a town car!
–76th & West End
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
(mother is running down the street, dragging two howling three-year-old boy twins)
Twin #1: I wanna take a taxi!
Twin #2: I wanna take a town car!
–76th & West End
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Girl to pregnant friend: You're only three months along? Man, you think it's twins?
Pregnant girl: I hope so. And hey, if it is twins, I'll finally have two kids by the same dad.
–Uptown E train
Middle school kid: I feel real horny today.
Middle school kid's mom: Me too!
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: poobear
Mother, pointing out seat to four-year-old daughter: Sit down there, honey. Don't touch anything.
Daughter, indicating her seat: Did you see? I touched it and then I licked my hand.
–F Train
Overheard by: Southern Discomforts
Mother to bouncing daughter: No, you can not look in that window! Do you want to be a Peeping Tom?
Daughter: Let me see! Let me see!
–Redhook, Brooklyn
Dad to seven-year-old: Do you want to see 2012?
Seven-year-old: God, no. Who directed it? Michael Bay?
–Regal Theater, 14th St
Little girl with large nose and pink jacket: Mommy, why is it cold out?
Mom with large nose wearing blue parka: Because your father is an asshole!
–F Train
Little girl: Orange juice is good, but oranges are bad. Peanut butter is good, but peanuts are bad. Why?
Friend: Hahahahaha! You said penis.
Little girl: Hahahahahaah! Penis!
–M104 Bus
Serious guy to another: See these hands? These are my bread and butter!
–Brooklyn Bridge
Overheard by: Hi-D
Well-dressed 25-year-old on phone: Yes. (pause) Please spare me the placenta. (pause) Okay, well, as long as it's clean.
–Key Foods
Woman on cell: So, she doesn't think her body is going to be ready by then?
–32nd & Park Ave
Overheard by: Publius
Man on cell: I wish I could just take my legs off. That would be so much easier.
–45th St & Ave of the Americas
Loud chick: Yeah, I'm still taking French classes. Last week we did commands, and this week we're learning, like, body parts.
–Hudson St
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
20-something girl on cell: But I have several heads…
–Metro-North Rail
Three-year-old boy to punk girl in black fishnets, as he pokes though holes: Um… why is your legs trapped?
–Thompkins Square Park
Man in shorts on cell: Well, I think what happened is he lost his pinky because of the forklift. But that's not the point of this conversation, let's talk about me here.
–186th St & Bennet Ave
Overheard by: Rina
Girl: And she's so awkward on crutches, it's so annoying!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: MR T
Guy on cell: So he tried to kill a roach and broke his knee, and that's why he's on crutches for the rest of summer.
–Union Square
Mother to young son: Sweetie, don't trip and bust your head open. I don't have no duct tape to put it back together.
–Laundromat, 48th St & 10th Ave
Blueberry salesman, as woman in crutches hobbles past: You hoppin', but you ain't stoppin'!
–Greenmarket
