Tourist #1: Wait, where are we?
Skater kid: Fuckin’ Earth man, fucking Earth.
Tourist #2: Wait, where?
–Bethesda Fountain, Central Park
Tourist #1: Wait, where are we?
Skater kid: Fuckin’ Earth man, fucking Earth.
Tourist #2: Wait, where?
–Bethesda Fountain, Central Park
(dad is making Care Bear stuffed animal “dance.”
Little girl: Stop shaking her, daddy! You’re gonna make her cry! Except she’s a mommy and mommies don’t cry, right?
Dad: Only when they want money.
–Manhattan-bound F Train
Overheard by: alisha
Mother: Your shoes are untied. Should we stop so you can tie them?
Son: No!
Mother: Well, okay… But if you fall and break your nose, it’s your fault.
Son: No! It’s your fault!
–54th & Broadway
Overheard by: Andy
Nine-year-old girl #1: My mom says that she was in so much pain giving birth to me that they had to give her surgery. My head was too big.
Nine-year-old girl #2: Your head is not big!
Nine-year-old girl #1: Yeah, but when I was a baby it was huge.
Nine-year-old girl #2: Weird. Did you have some sort of disease?
Nine-year-old girl #1: No, but when I came out I wasn't crying, I was twirling my hair.
–Mannes College of Music
Five-year-old, quietly: I wish you’d die…
Mom: What?
Five-year-old: I said, ‘I wish I could fly.’
Mom: Oh, okay.
Five-year-old: So I could fly away from you!
–66th & Freedom Pl
Overheard by: Evan
Little girl: Daddy, are there people inside the big balloons?
Father: Only in Scooby-Doo. He’s a carnivore.
–77th & Columbus
Kid: Mom, where you at?
Mom: I’m right here, baby, and it’s not where you at, it’s where you is.
–Crowded store
Overheard by: spamandvikings
Red-faced toddler in stroller: Nooooo!
Dad: Once more, with feeling!
–82nd & 2nd
Overheard by: Jamie
Little girl: Can I have a job here?
Clerk: How old are you?
Little girl: Nine.
Clerk: Well, you have to be at least 14 to work at the library.
Little girl: Oh, yeah? Well, you have a big head!
–Queens Library
