Mom: You know something? When I was a little girl, my family was so poor that we couldn’t even afford Christmas presents! We got fruit in our stocking and that was it, and we were lucky if we could get one birthday present–
Son, 6: But we have money!
–10th Street & 6th Avenue
Wife: I don’t know what you’ve got to be so sad about. Your boss loves you, the kids love you, I love you, the dog loves you!
–JFK airport bar
Girl, 4: I have needs, too.
Boy, 4: Your needs? Who cares about your needs? What about my needs?
–M16 bus
Overheard by: Jenny Piston
Guy on cell: …so then he just punched me, yeah! Just punched me right in the face. Well I figured I oughta get dressed and leave her room, yeah, he was pissed…No, she’s his only kid.
–Empire State Building
Woman on cell: …hon, she had a gut!
Little boy: Mom, chubby is the new black.
–75th & Broadway
Gen X Girl on cell: …yeah, totally. It’s like, last night, I had sex with this guy and the condom broke. And like I’m ovulating. And I like totally can’t remember this guy’s name. Whatever.
–M31 bus
Son: I’m really glad you’re drinking again, you know…just not so much.
–Mon Petit Cafe, UES
Screaming child: I want a smoothie! I want a smoothie! I want a smoothie!
Mom: I’m not buyin’ you no smoothie! I’m buyin’ ice cream and that’s all!
–Ben & Jerry’s, 104th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Inge
Young girl: We can share!
Father: We’ll have to throw away the choking hazard pieces.
Young girl: These? I wanna keep the choking hazard!
–Rite-Aid, Hudson & West 10th
Conductor: This is the last train. You have no other options, this is it. Get on this train.
–Metro North Rail
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, please keep your feet off the seats on this train. They belong on the floor; that's why it's there. If you can't put your feet on the floor because your luggage is there, don't worry: we took care of that too. Look up. That thing above your head is a luggage rack.
–NJ Transit, Penn Station
Announcement on NJ transit train: If you have young children, please take them…by the hand when leaving the train.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: JerseyJR
Train conductor: This is 18th Street, if this is your stop…get up! Give up that seat!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Chris K… at 11pm
Amtrak conductor: We are experiencing engine problems and need to change trains. But I want you to know that we have lost no altitude.
–Amtrak Train
Conductor, philosophical about delayed train: We don't usually have this type of delay at this time of day. But, well, here we are… (train starts to move) Aha! Here it is!
–A Train
Overheard by: Katie J
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, do you know where you are? (passengers are silent) I do! Hudson, next stop.
–Amtrak Train, Leaving Penn Station
Child, reading: Be…kind…to…furry…
Mom: A-ni-mals.
Child: Why?
Mom: You have to be kind to all animals, so people don't think you're crazy and a psychopath.
–Q Train
