Waitress: Do you have a baby in that bag?
Teen girl: No, I have books.
Waitress: Oh, well, it’s almost like a baby.
–Chat ‘n’ Chew, East 16th Street
Overheard by: Tourist in Town
Waitress: Do you have a baby in that bag?
Teen girl: No, I have books.
Waitress: Oh, well, it’s almost like a baby.
–Chat ‘n’ Chew, East 16th Street
Overheard by: Tourist in Town
Guy #1: Why don’t we make him escaping a bank robbery?
Guy #2: Okay, he just robbed a bank and now he’s eating lunch with his girlfriend.
–12th & University
Overheard by: reggae sarkar
Guy #1: You should feel honored to live in New Jersey.
Guy #2: I like living in Jersey. It just really sucks commuting here every day.
Guy #1: It’s like the Jews being kosher. It’s the price you pay for being chosen.
–12th & 5th
Girl #1: Randy won’t stop coming on my face.
Girl #2: …Are you going to finish your bagel?
–Waverly & University
Overheard by: S.A.F.
Ghetto guy: I meant to say it like dat, dat’s my new ting, the Jamaican vibe.
Girl : Jamaicans don’t talk like that. Weirdo.
Ghetto guy: Yeah, they do. Hater. I tink usa hater, mon! Blocka, blocka, blocka.
Girl: I’m about to swing a block against your head. I know a lot of Jamaicans. They don’t talk like that.
Ghetto guy: I ain’t pickin at ’em. I just like how they talk. And the day you swing a block at my head, you betta know Jesus!
–Chan Library of Fine Arts, East 78th Street
Chick #1: Hooray, I’m free!
Chick #2: You’d better take your nametag off, then.
Chick #1: Yeah, I don’t want guys who come up to me being all, “Hello, Diana.”
–14th & 3rd
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Drunk girl: I’m not that drunk. I hate how when I only get a little drunk I still slur words.
–Astoria
Old lady: Excuse me, where is the exit?
Cop: Just follow the signs.
Old lady: I’m following the signs and I don’t know where I’m going.
–Times Square station
Overheard by: So K
Chick: Did you ever watch wrestling?
Guy: I used to watch it back when it was real.
–2nd & 2nd
Conductor: Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. Would Isaiah Santiago please step off the train? The police are waiting for you.
–1 train
Overheard by: gordon gartrell
