Hair lady: So how do you want it done?
Grandma: I want to have the same lining and density as that cute, little Chinese girl had.
Hair lady: It was a boy.
–Encore Beauty Salon, Claremont Drive
Overheard by: Maxym B
Hair lady: So how do you want it done?
Grandma: I want to have the same lining and density as that cute, little Chinese girl had.
Hair lady: It was a boy.
–Encore Beauty Salon, Claremont Drive
Overheard by: Maxym B
Old Man: They have salads here. Next time we should just come early and eat here.
Old Lady: Okay, we could try that next time.
Old Man: They have Caesar salads, and cobb salads, and pasta salads–
Old Lady: That sounds good. We’ll try it next time.
Old Man: –they have California salads, and tuna salads, and–
Old Lady: Okay, Harvey! We’ll eat here next time!
Old Man: …they have sandwiches, too.
–Avery Fischer Hall
Overheard by: Heather
Old lady #1: So I think maybe that’s the problem with New Yorkers.
Old lady #2: No decaf?
Old lady #1: Yep, no decaf. That’s the problem.
–Starbucks, 102nd & Broadway
Hip woman: …then I slit my wrists–
Hip guy: Um?
Hip woman: –and he sucked my blood.
–5th Ave. & 19th St.
Girl: Wait, what are you doing?
Guy: Huh? What do you think?
Girl: I mean, why are you putting your credit card into this box-thing?
Guy: To…um, get money?
Girl: Money? This machine gives you money if you have a card?
Guy: Um…this is, like, an ATM.
–Deli, 13th & 5th
Overheard by: Halli Civelek
Old british man, to liquor store employees: Have any of you ever tried this beer?
Thugged-out liquor store employee #1: Nah.
Old british man: Oh, it’s a splendid Belgian stout, very sweet. It’s my absolute favorite variety of Belgian beer. You should try it sometime. It is absolutely divine, a tastebud sensation the likes of which I can guarantee you’ve never known. Well, have a great night, chaps. [Pays for his beer and walks out.]Thugged-out liquor store employee #1: Yo, dog, you hear that guy’s accent? You think his accent was real?
Thugged-out liquor store employee #2: Nah.
Thugged-out liquor store employee #1: I don’t think so, either.
Thugged-out liquor store employee #2: It couldn’t have been real. You hear that guy? He ain’t from no foreign country. He spoke perfect English.
–Liquor Store, Manhattan
Overheard by: daile
Guy: You see that bum? He wouldn’t even look me in the eye. I know him from the Bronx. Evvverybody knows everybody in the Bronx, especially if you do drugs. He’s a liar…His daughter did die, but 3 years ago. He got so much money hustlin’ on the D train, but now they all know it’s bullshit, so he came all the way to Queens….what, he gotta bury his daughter every year? He gonna ask for money when the girl died 20 yrs ago?…And if you don’t got money for a burial, the city gives it to you. He fulla shit.
–7 train
Overheard by: MR
Standing in line is a guy with a massive 12-roll pack of toilet paper. His buddy comes up to join him and says: I always knew you were full of shit.
–Rite Aid, Irving Place
Overheard by: Vera Farrelly
Ranting woman: We should be boycotting products from all those big corporations like Microsoft, and General Motors, and Nike, and–
Hobo: Shut the fuck up before the corporation gets to you and tortures you to death.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Ting
Deli guy: Getting some beers?
Customer guy: Yup. Three for me and one for my dog.
–Bodega, Amsterdam & 109th
Guy: Oh my god, no art is worth this. I don’t care if I get to blow Picasso, I’m not waiting in this line.
–75th & Park
Overheard by: Long John
