Assistant: Probably not, I don’t see them as Miracle Whip people.
Boss: How many times do you have to tell that story?
–23rd & 6th
Overheard by: Dave
Assistant: Probably not, I don’t see them as Miracle Whip people.
Boss: How many times do you have to tell that story?
–23rd & 6th
Overheard by: Dave
Suit: Have you ever seen Conan in HD? His face looks like a scrotum.
–Maggie’s Place, E. 47th Street
Overheard by: Grimbil
Woman: A hundred dollars worth of squeaky toys and you eat garbage off the floor! I don’t get it.
–22nd & 7th
Overheard by: debo
Teenage boy: Once I hit the blind kid that lives downstairs with a ball and I felt so bad but it had me thinking, “what if he got his sight back by me hitting him?”. I would be like, “yo, you have your sight back thanks to me, give me some money.”
–2 train
Girl on cell: Your ass is, like, slightly cuter than my face.
–Union Square
Valley girl: Ewww, what is that?
Boyfriend: That’s a cab.
Valley girl: I want it.
Boyfriend: You want it?
Valley girl: I want to buy it!
Boyfriend, to cabbie: How much is it?
Cabbie: Get bent.
–Broadway
Girl: Can you press 8, please?
The guy does so. The doors open to let him off on the 3rd floor, and the scent of hannukah latkes fills the elevator.
Girl: Smells like Judaism here.
–Elevator, Columbus between 95th & 96th
Overheard by: Jayson Littman
Hair lady: So how do you want it done?
Grandma: I want to have the same lining and density as that cute, little Chinese girl had.
Hair lady: It was a boy.
–Encore Beauty Salon, Claremont Drive
Overheard by: Maxym B
Old Man: They have salads here. Next time we should just come early and eat here.
Old Lady: Okay, we could try that next time.
Old Man: They have Caesar salads, and cobb salads, and pasta salads–
Old Lady: That sounds good. We’ll try it next time.
Old Man: –they have California salads, and tuna salads, and–
Old Lady: Okay, Harvey! We’ll eat here next time!
Old Man: …they have sandwiches, too.
–Avery Fischer Hall
Overheard by: Heather
Old lady #1: So I think maybe that’s the problem with New Yorkers.
Old lady #2: No decaf?
Old lady #1: Yep, no decaf. That’s the problem.
–Starbucks, 102nd & Broadway
Hip woman: …then I slit my wrists–
Hip guy: Um?
Hip woman: –and he sucked my blood.
–5th Ave. & 19th St.
Girl: Wait, what are you doing?
Guy: Huh? What do you think?
Girl: I mean, why are you putting your credit card into this box-thing?
Guy: To…um, get money?
Girl: Money? This machine gives you money if you have a card?
Guy: Um…this is, like, an ATM.
–Deli, 13th & 5th
Overheard by: Halli Civelek
