Woman #1: Did Francesca like the sweaters you bought her?
Woman #2: She liked the red one. But I came home the other day and half of it was gone. She ate it.
–92nd & Broadway
Woman #1: Did Francesca like the sweaters you bought her?
Woman #2: She liked the red one. But I came home the other day and half of it was gone. She ate it.
–92nd & Broadway
Thug #1: Kelly Bundy’s dancing on Broadway.
Thug #2: She naked?
Thug #1: She broke both her legs. I think she in a wheelchair.
Thug #2: She naked?
Thug #1: I bet she dance good. She hot.
Thug #2: I’d break her clit if I had the chance.
–F train
Girl: If I hear another show tune out of context I think I’m going to vomit. Physically vomit. You know that feeling?
Guy: Uh, no.
–42nd between 9th & 10th
Guy: What kind of dog is that over there?
Girl: I think it’s a pug, but it’s really fat.
Guy: It looks like a pig with Down’s syndrome.
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Manhattman
Hipster: Man, it’s like…SoHo’s becoming the next Williamsburg.
–SoHo
After four years of documenting the insights of the Unknown Man in the Street,
we’re branching out and documenting the insights of the Celebrity, too. Let
us know what you think of our new site, Celebrity Wit, by e-mailing us at
hatemail@overheardinnewyork.com or lovemail@overheardinnewyork.com
Team Overheard
Assistant: Probably not, I don’t see them as Miracle Whip people.
Boss: How many times do you have to tell that story?
–23rd & 6th
Overheard by: Dave
Suit: Have you ever seen Conan in HD? His face looks like a scrotum.
–Maggie’s Place, E. 47th Street
Overheard by: Grimbil
Woman: A hundred dollars worth of squeaky toys and you eat garbage off the floor! I don’t get it.
–22nd & 7th
Overheard by: debo
Teenage boy: Once I hit the blind kid that lives downstairs with a ball and I felt so bad but it had me thinking, “what if he got his sight back by me hitting him?”. I would be like, “yo, you have your sight back thanks to me, give me some money.”
–2 train
Girl on cell: Your ass is, like, slightly cuter than my face.
–Union Square
Valley girl: Ewww, what is that?
Boyfriend: That’s a cab.
Valley girl: I want it.
Boyfriend: You want it?
Valley girl: I want to buy it!
Boyfriend, to cabbie: How much is it?
Cabbie: Get bent.
–Broadway
Girl: Can you press 8, please?
The guy does so. The doors open to let him off on the 3rd floor, and the scent of hannukah latkes fills the elevator.
Girl: Smells like Judaism here.
–Elevator, Columbus between 95th & 96th
Overheard by: Jayson Littman
