Guy: …And she had the nerve; she didn’t even ask me to be her friend. She just sent me her profile!
Chick: Omigod, you should so send her a frowny.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: djlindee
Conductor: Chambers Street-World Trade Center will be the next and last stop on this train.
Man: Can’t be next and last stop. Either it’s the next stop or the last stop!
–E train
Overheard by: Alan H.
Lady lawyer: Hey, what animal year are you?
Boy attorney #1: The monkey, I think.
Boy attorney #2: Dude, chimpanzees freak me out after seeing Outbreak.
Boy attorney #1: That was a monkey, not a chimpanzee.
Lady lawyer: The thing I don’t like about monkeys is their butts.
–Office, East 45th Street
Man #1: Hey, did you hear they’re remaking The Poseidon Adventure?
Man #2: Really? Are they going to get anyone from the original? Is Shelley Winters in it?
Man #3: Yeah. She plays the boat.
–Film Forum, Houston Street
Overheard by: JP
Man on cell: Yeah, I’m going to see a farce tonight…It’s gonna be awesome. Wait, what’s a farce? That’s a comedy, right? Right?
–46th & 8th
Overheard by: Chad
Girl: I don’t know if he’s straight or gay, I can’t tell.
Guy: You know that saying “innocent until proven guilty”? Well, everyone at Pratt is gay until proven straight.
–Hoyt-Schermerhorn station
Overheard by: Peter F.
Man: Oh my God, it’s sold out. What do we do?
Woman: I don’t know. Suicide?
–Film Forum, Houston Street
Guy #1: Tell em’ what I did.
Guy #2: Pissed on her.
Guy #1: I pissed on her face while she was sleeping!
–Coney Island Boardwalk
Overheard by: Kate C.
Office girl: So if you’re Bonnie, then who’s your Clyde?
Boss guy: I’m so not the femme.
Office girl: Totally.
Boss guy: I need a guy a little more faggy than me but not like, say, Tom Cruisey or Richard Simmonsy.
Office girl: Wait, who’s more faggy than Richard Simmons?
–Office, West 52nd Street
Overheard by: GeeGoo
