Mom: Will you look at that — a shoe store!
Four-year-old girl: Isn’t it magical?
–Payless Shoe Store, Astoria
Serious 40-something man to five-year-old girl: So why do I always have to be the one to buy dinner?
–8th Ave & 44th St
Overheard by: Dean
Mother to toddler: Why you always gotta sing Barney? Always Barney! You are so annoying! I'm sick of Barney.
–1 Train
Middle-aged Jewish man to eleven-year-old girl: But I don't think you have to worry about that, Talia, because there are very few Zoroastrians around these days.
–93rd & Broadway
Ghetto father making out with ghetto girl, to two-year-old tugging at his jeans: Nigga, stop cock-blockin me!
–Fordham Road
Overheard by: Laura
Angry mom to eight-year-old son: When I find that brick, you're in big trouble!
–Kane St & Clinton St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Phycobilins
Emphatic mom to child holding her hand: You've gotta hold my hand! I'm forty-six years old and I still hold my mommy's hand! I'm forty-six years old! So you've gotta hold my hand!
–50th & 9th
Overheard by: Christiana Little
Mom: What’s the name of that group?
Teen boy: Death Cab for Cutie.
Mom: Death Camp for Cutie?
Teen boy: Death Cab.
Mom: What a horrible name…
Teen boy: This is them playing, do you like it?
Mom: Yeah I love it, but what a horrible name! Death Camp…
–60th & Broadway
Overheard by: Avital
Mom: Do you need to poop?
Little girl: I don’t wanna poop!
Mom: You’ll get a treat if you poop.
Little girl: But I don’t wanna.
Mom: You either do it or you don’t. I don’t have all day to talk about poop.
–JFK bathroom stall
Overheard by: plo
Little sister: Mommy, she called me stupid!
Big sister: No I didn’t, I called you evil.
Little sister: Evil means stupid.
Mommy: You are both annoying.
–Key Food, Prospect Heights
Little girl: Mommy! Is that Times Square!? I see lights, mommy! It's Times Square!
Mommy: Umm… Where, honey? We're not there yet.
Little girl: Yes, we are! Look, mommy! Look at the lights! Peep World, mommy! Peep World!
–33rd St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: I want that to be my kid.
Daughter: Dad, where are we getting off?
Father: Um…42nd Street…Times Square…Grand Central Parkway…something like that.
Daughter: 142nd street?
Father: Yeah, something like that.
(doors open for Penn Station)
Mother: I think we should get off here.
Father and daughter: Yeah.
–Uptown 2 Train
Little boy, to male conductor: Where’s the snack bar, ma’am?
Mom: Good, you’re being polite!
–Amtrak, Penn Station
Overheard by: Russ Wall
Four-year-old girl: Mommy, is this avant-garde?
Mom: Yes.
Four-year-old girl: Mommy, I like avant-garde.
–MoMA
(little boy has a Hot Wheels car and he's rolling it all over everything around him)
Boy: Mom, can I roll it on your head?
Mom: No, you'll mess up my hair.
Boy: Your arms?
Mom: Yeah, sure.
Boy: Your chest?
Mom: No, that's not appropriate.
Boy: Okay…your nipples?
Mom: That's definitely not appropriate.
Boy (disappointed): Aaww…
–6 Train
Overheard by: 1-800-mattres
