Younger woman: What's the name of Jesus' father? Not god, the other guy!
Older woman: Joseph?
Younger woman: Yeah! Him. Oh wait, so it's not “John”? Forget it.
–Midtown
Younger woman: What's the name of Jesus' father? Not god, the other guy!
Older woman: Joseph?
Younger woman: Yeah! Him. Oh wait, so it's not “John”? Forget it.
–Midtown
Guy #1: Yo B., let’s cross here.
Guy #2: Did you just call me Babe?
Guy #1: No, niggah, I called you B.! You outta your fuckin’ mind?
–Spring & W. Broadway
Girl #1: You know that guy who always follows me around?
Girl #2: Yeah!
Girl #3: I wish I knew his name.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: Could it be Mulva?
Drunk guy: Hi, my name’s Bobby Flamer.
Girl: Haha, there’s no way your last name is really Flamer.
Drunk guy: No, seriously, look at my ID.
Girl, looking at ID: This says your name is Eric Flamer.
Drunk guy: Yeah. I lied.
–Bar None, 3rd Ave between 12th & 13th
Overheard by: Zak Santucci
Little girl: Mommy! Mommy! How many times have I asked you for a brother?
Mother to friend: Yeah, she's been buggin' me about having a boy.
Little girl: Yeah! And we can name him David!
Mother: David? David? Hooooo, girl! Hell no!
–Staten Island Ferry
Guy: Well, William can be Bill, Robert can be Bob, and John can be Jack.
Girl: John can be Jack?
Guy: Yeah, you know, like sometimes John Kennedy was called Jack Kennedy.
Girl: Then why did they call him Robert?
–Diner, 22nd & 3rd
Hipster girl to another: Yeah, everyone has a crush on him, but he’s got halitosis. And a concave chest!
–MoMA
Hipster chick to friend: Whoa. I just felt totally suffocated by capitalist society.
–NYU
Hipster in rainbow moonboots: So I say to this girl as I’m roofie-ing her juice box…
–Union Square
Overheard by: eliza
Hipster chick on cell: Hello? Hey! Guess what? I found my underwear!
–1st Ave
Overheard by: Aria Grillo
Hipster: I mean, you can’t just rock a sombrero and think that it’s cool.
–6th & 10th
Overheard by: El
Hipster chick to tourist friends: … And across the street is where Albert Greenberg lived for a while.
–E 2nd St, across street from Allen Ginsberg’s former walkup
Overheard by: midtown_strangler
Hipster chick: I wanna create a website: Nine-Eleven — get over it.
–4 train
Overheard by: Hurtz donit
Old man: So where are you from?
Barber: Russia.
Old man: Oh yes, they have a lot of money there in Russia.
Barber: No, very poor.
Old man: Where in Russia are you from?
Barber: Uzbekistan.
Old man: Oh! So you're from the boondocks? Your country would be like the boondocks to Russia.
Barber: I lived in a city.
Old man: A city? You mean you didn't grow up on a farm?
Barber: No.
Old man: You didn't have livestock?
Barber: Yes. We had pigs and chickens.
Old man: Pigs are great. But pig urine smells awful. And chickens are stupid. They will lie back with their mouths open and drown in a rainstorm.
Barber: Yes, chickens are stupid. I named them after my sisters.
–E 9th & Ave A
Teenager to friend: Well, her name is Alexandra, and I was not hooking up with her…
Random passerby, interrupting: Yeah, that's right, I once knew a girl named pussy!
–West Houston St
Overheard by: nickwe
Girl #1: It was me, her, and Kim Fines.
Girl #2: I thought Kim Fines was dead?
Girl #1: Yeah, she is.
Girl #2: She must be like 47 by now!
–Lincoln Center parking garage
