Who Wears the Pants in Your Wednesday One-Liners?

Older man: If you drank a thousand gallons of beer, and then took off your pants…

–79th & West End

Girl to guy with beavers on pants: Excuse me, are those beavers on your pants?

–6 Train

20-something preppy girl on cell: Whenever I'm cheating on my boyfriend, I take off my pants and pretend to be an albino bunny.

–Central Park

Overheard by: that one girl

Guy on cell: If I don't get in her pants tonight, I'm gonna fuck you up!

–1st Ave

Aging drag queen to friend: It's much better than sick obsessions with blond males between the ages of 18 and 25 who always take their pants off to play GameCube.

–The Village

Overheard by: Amused NYU Tischie

Posted on August 19, 2009
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Central Park, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Drag queens, Drinking & Drunk People, Friends, Girls, Guys, Hair, Infidelity, Men, Nudity, Old People, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Preppies, Questions, Sex, Street, The Village, Threats, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Video Games, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Wally Had Envisioned a Year-Long Exchange Of Letters

Dude to hot female passerby: My, my, you are gorgeous!
Hot female passerby: Yeah? You should see me naked.
Dude: Whoa, whoa, whoa–you move too fast for me.

–14th St & 4th Ave

Posted on August 13, 2009
Beauty, Bimbettes, Guys, Nudity, Physical appearance, Pick-up Lines, Strangers, Union Square and East Village

Umm, He Invented Nudity?

New Yorker: Oh, and there's the naked cowboy. He's everywhere. He's famous.
Tourist mom: Why?

–Times Square

Posted on August 6, 2009
About Celebrities, Moms, Nudity, Questions, Times Square, Tourists

After One Of Those, You Have to Clean the Bathroom and Your Entire Body

Guy #1: You know when you have to take the kind of dump when you have to take your shirt off?
Guy #2: Yeah?
Guy #1: It was like that.

–Ave A & St. Mark's

Posted on August 4, 2009
Alphabet City, Compare/Contrast, Guys, Nudity, Poop, Weirdness

Because It's My Turn

Person #1: Just take your pants off and try… please?
Person #2: No, I don't want to.
Person #1: Then why are you holding yourself?

–FAO Schwartz, 5th Ave

Posted on August 2, 2009
Customers, Nudity, Offers and requests, Questions, Store, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

There's Always the Internet

Red haired teen: Aw, they're sold out! We're not gonna get to see the naked people!
Mom: Don't worry, honey, we'll see them another time.

–Outside Al Hirschfeld Theatre

Posted on July 13, 2009
Gripes, Moms, Nudity, Parents, Teens, Theater, Theater & Dance

…God, I Envy Her!

Girl: And she was like “I usually only play the nice girls, so I'm excited to play someone sinister.”
Gay guy, laughing out loud: Did she actually say that? I hate her!
Girl: I know, right? And she has no butt, either! It's just like, flat. What would that look like? Not that anyone should have to imagine her naked.
Gay guy: It's like…a cube. (both laugh)

–Metro North

Posted on July 10, 2009
Ass, Beauty, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Gripes, Laughter, Nudity, Physical appearance, Queer guys, Trains Not Subway

Something About the Three-Part Bun

Hipster guy: Then, she sent me all these naked pictures of herself.
Hipster chick: So what did you do?
Hipster guy: Went to McDonald's. Big Macs clear my head.

–87th & Lexington

Posted on July 4, 2009
Hipsters, Junk Food & Fast Food, Nudity, Pictures, Questions, Upper East Side, Weirdness

Wednesday and the World One-Liners With You, Cry and You Cry Alone

Girl, loudly and enthusiastically: Everything I say is a joke!

–City Bakery, 18th St

Girl to guy: What's so funny? Did you fart?

–W 96th & Broadway

Overheard by: Megan W.

Santa, chasing scared teen: Do you think it's funny to throw things at people's heads? How about I break your face?

–42nd St

Girl: I'm really excited that, like, within our lifetime, there are gonna be funny movies about Obama.

–Manhattan Theatre Source

Overheard by: Emily B.

Laughing girl on phone: Come on, please! Please! Just take off your clothes and take pictures! (pause) Come on, mom, it would be so funny!

–Union Square

20-something skater guy to another: And then I started whackin' off, and it was hilarious.

–Broadway & E 10th St

Overheard by: Timothy

Posted on July 1, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Farting & Burping, Girls, Grocery Stores, Guys, Laughter, Masturbation, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Movies, Nudity, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Pictures, President, Punch, Questions, Skaters, Street, Stupidity, Teens, Theater, Threats, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Violence, Wednesday One-Liners

She'll Be the Next Huge Disney Star?

Mother: I'm not very up to date on things like this, but I'm 90% sure that Alec Baldwin is not a Jonas Brother.
Father: Yeah, well…she was naked and she talked funny, so that tells you something.

–Broadway Theatre

Overheard by: Fiona

Posted on June 11, 2009
About Celebrities, Dads, Moms, Music, Nudity, Theater