Informed yuppie: …yeah, no city money was wasted, it was all self financed.
–The Gates
Grandpa: You’re not listening to me!
Grandma: Well, if I listened to you what would you ever have to yell about?
–The Gates
Overheard by: Martha Gelnaw
Little boy: Where are the rides? Mommy, I want to go on the rides!
–The Gates
Child, after hurting himself: Jesus!
Grandma: Oh, no. Don’t say that tonight.
Child: Christ!
–Seder, UWS
Overheard by: bobby bo bobby
Headline by: AL
Runners-Up:
· “Sawww-eee.” – Sameer
· “All that colorful Yiddish I taught you, and this is the best you can do?” – MB
· “Blasphemy is allah the same to me” – Yugan
· “Either way, it’s still not kosher” – Peter
· “Wait until after we kill him” – bobofthejungle
Old man wearing suspenders #1: That's a great pair of suspenders.
Old man wearing suspenders #2: Thanks. I had a heckuva time getting them.
Library security guard: Sir, please lower your voice.
–New York Public Library, 34th & Madison
Old guy #1: You want to slap me to death!
Old guy #2: No I don't! I'm not that kind of person!
–St. Mark's Place
Suit: Goddamn piece of fucking shit.
Old lady: Geez.
Suit: What’s your fucking problem?
Old lady: The dumbing down of our language; everyone is so crude. Suit: Where are you from, the Little House on the Prairie?
Old lady: I’m from New York, you fucking asshole.
–47th & 5th
Overheard by: Anne Turner
Tourist lady: Wow, it’s like a sea of people!
B&T guy: Welcome to the city that never sleeps!
NY woman: Fuck all of you.
–Times Square station
Overheard by: Emily A
Old lady: Do you have gift cards here?
Employee: Yes, we do.
Old lady: Can I get one for Best Buy?
–Barnes & Noble, Whitestone, Queens
Old Lady: And then she said she didn’t like him because he was too fat. She wanted to date someone skinnier. You know, like you?
Old Man: I’m skinny?
Old Lady: Of course.
Old Man: Then what’s this hanging off of me?
–Brighton Beach
Old man #1: It was uplifting.
Old man #2: Dead babies?
–Cranberry Cafe
Overheard by: Jordan
Old Chinese lady: No luggage allowed. Leave it outside. This is my building! I own it!
(College kid, obviously from out of town, leaves in fear)
Old Chinese lady: Puta!
(college kid scurries away)
College kid on cell: Yeah, I did what they say on Law & Order. Never make eye contact with a New Yorker.
–Penn Station Entrance
Overheard by: kash
Old man: Let me ask you something. When you see a person in a wheelchair or on crutches, do you feel bad for them?
Teenage boy: Um… I guess, yeah.
Old man: You shouldn't, because they don't feel sorry for you.
Teenage boy: Oh. Thank you.
–Brooklyn Heights
