Park Slope mom: What did you do in science class today?
Five-year-old girl: You do not want to know.
–F Train
Overheard by: Russ Wall
Park Slope mom: What did you do in science class today?
Five-year-old girl: You do not want to know.
–F Train
Overheard by: Russ Wall
Man: I'll give you the shirt off my back!
Woman: I don't want your shirt. I give you shirts! Why would I take it back?
(pause)
Man (singing): “We are the champions, we are the champions…”
–L Train
Overheard by: sweetchuck
Dude, to other dude with a small backpack: Is that the new backpack nano? What do you have in there, an apple and a bottle of water? You carrying acorns around in there? One package of skittles? An abridged copy of…The Old Man and the Sea?
Backpack dude: Do I really have to explain my backpack to you?
–L Train
Overheard by: ultra-condensed movies
Black guy (spotting a friend): Hey man, what's up? You know you one ugly motherfucka? (laughs)
Black guy #2: Dude, youse the ugly nigga. You've been one ugly motherfucka for ten years.
Black guy #1: You've been an ugly motherfucka since you was born.
(time passes, they talk in their separate groups of friends. Black guy #1 gets off train)
Black guy #2's friend: Yo, your ugly nigga just left.
Black guy #2: He is one ugly mothafucka isn't he? (laughs).
–1 Train
Subway beggar to the people on train : Yo, my daughter just died and I don't have any money to bury her… (recognizes someone on the train) Yo!
Man on the train: Hey! How's the wife?
Subway beggar: Oh, she good, she good. She be working too! She working on the 4 line!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Faye
Guy: Touche.
Girl: Isn't that Japanese for “okay”?
–F Train
History genius: Was Bush president in 2002?
Friend: Yeah, he was elected in 2000.
History genius: Oh. (pause) So, if he gets elected again, he'll be president until 2016?
–V Train
Overheard by: Jordan
Hipster guy: He's 65?
Hipster girl: I think so, yes, he's a photographer.
Hipster guy: I just don't understand what the attraction is.
Hipster girl: Well, it's not like I want to have some Hollywood romance, I just want to go over to his apartment and like eat a sandwich and play with his dog.
–Uptown A Train
Girl: So, our assignment was to bring in something “beautiful” for art class.
Friend: Uh huh.
Girl: And I brought in a picture of the sunset. But this other girl brought in trash and the teacher loved it! And I was like, thinking trash is beautiful was a new idea like ten years ago, you know?
Friend: Actually, not really.
Girl: Oh, well, like ten years ago someone tried to start this thing where trash was pretty, but like, no one is still doing that!
–1 Train
Pregnant Latina: So I've been really thinking about what I want, and I want a ranch.
Thug: A ranch? What for?! When you have a ranch you gotta have animals, nigga. It's a whole different kind of struggle.
Pregnant Latina: I just want a ranch.
Thug: Well you better make it a gun ranch.
–Uptown 4 Train
Overheard by: Jenni
