Woman: It's almost impossible to have a relationship in this city. I make more than most of the men I find attractive.
Man: If you weren't my boss…I would hit that.
Woman: Yeah but… What?
Man: I'm just say'n.
–59th St & Lexington Ave
Overheard by: BobbyKane
African American man: Seeing someone get laid out on the street is a real New York City stereotype. Like if you flew to Texas and you got picked up by a cowboy on a horse.
African American woman: More like if the plane was a pickup truck and you get dragged behind it.
–Q74 Bus
Runner: The top 20% of New Yorkers couldn't exist without the…
Hobo (interrupting): The top 20% of New Yorkers suck.
–80th & Columbus
Overheard by: 20 percenter
(spectators gather behind a wall of paparazzi taking pictures)
Tourist woman: Who is that?
Guy #1: David Wright and Willie Randolph.
Tourist woman: Who are they?
Guy #1: Baseball players.
Tourist woman: Ooooh. Which team?
Guy #1: The Mets.
Tourist woman: Oh. Honey! It’s just the Mets, let’s go.
Guy #2 (with Mets hat): Hey! Fuck you!
–43rd & Broadway
Overheard by: am
Man, watching display for track announcement: Oh, look, it says “Stand by”! Here it comes! Whaddaya think it’ll be? I’m betting on 9.
Woman: Oh, I say 10. What do you think, mom?
Older woman: Er, 11.
Man: How about you, Fred*?
Older man, not very interested: 5, I guess.
Man: 9 comes up a lot. I take this train all the time and it’s almost always 9. I’ll give you 2 to 1 odds on 5, though. 2 to 1, Fred*.
(older man ignores him)
Man: Come on 9! Damn it, now that guy’s standing right in front of it. Do you believe that? Down in front! Go 9!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Conductor: Attention, passengers. This is the last stop on this N train. For service to Brooklyn, please exit and take the R train. Again…
Tourist: Wait, is this the N train?
Passenger: Yes.
Tourist: Does the N train go to Brooklyn?
Passenger: Yes.
Tourist: Does this train go to Brooklyn?
Passenger, exiting: No.
–N Train
Overheard by: Still searching for the logical flaw
Random woman: I’m a well known prostitute here in New York.
Random man: Oh really? You’re well-known around here?! Says who?!
Random woman: Ask anyone!
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: Paula
Skinny girl: I may see if she can drive me to Target later.
Friend: She has a car?
Skinny girl: Yeah, it’s the only way to be fat and live in New York.
–Williamsburg
Girl #1: You’re a doctor?
Girl #2: Yeah–you didn’t know that?
Girl #1: Well, I only know you on a wrestling level.
Girl #3: Wow, that is *so* New York.
–Rooftop party, Bedford St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Gnomies
Tourist: Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to MoMA from here?
Suit: Fuck you, what do I look…
Tourist, indignantly interrupting: No, fuck you, you motherfucking piece of shit. You don’t want to answer, you say “I don’t know”. All you New Yorkers are a bunch of cock-sucking assholes.
[Suit, stunned, gives directions.]Bystander to tourist: Where did you learn to do that?
Tourist: The Midwest.
–Outside the Guggenheim
Overheard by: Ehem.
