Parents

Flustered woman, about her brood: Have we lost anyone yet?
Husband: Ummm… No.
Flustered woman: Well, who are we going to lose first? Because we haven’t lost anyone yet.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Josh

Headline by: Aeirlys

Runners-Up:
· “Because Abortion THIS Late in the Term Is Just Tacky” – Hillary Claire
· “Hobos Aren’t Born. They’re Made.” – Krisztina
· “It Looked So Much Easier in Home Alone” – You Don’t Want To Know
· “Things Were Shaky Until Fraulein Maria Came Along” – allison
· “Two Roads Diverged in the Woods – I Chose the One My Children Couldn’t Travel” – Drewp

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Flight attendant: In case of an emergency, please place the oxygen mask on yourself first. You may then help your favorite child or the one with the most potential.
Well dressed father: Which one would that be?
Bored mother: Neither.

–JFK

Overheard by: Glad my kids weren't with me

Little girl, in very loud voice: Mommy, how old are you?
Older woman: Twenty-two.
Little girl: No, you're not! You're like fifty something!

–JFK

Indian girl to boyfriend: Can you believe she did that? I was just like “what the fuck?”
Boyfriend, obviously not paying attention: Mhhmm. You're right.
Indian girl, angrily: Stop thinking about my mother's breasts!

–Kimmel Student Centre, NYU

Overheard by: I know I would

Smiley man: How you feelin'? How you feelin'?
Little girl: Who's that?
Mom: That was just a nice man sitting on the sidewalk saying hello.
Little girl: Really?
Mom: Yeah, he was talking to you.

–14th St & University Place

Overheard by: Alexandra

Dad: Do you guys want Turkish food for dinner?
Teen girl: Yeah, I’m down.
Dad: …Is that good…or bad?

–83rd & Columbus

Overheard by: Sydney

Mom: Honey, what's the matter?
Girl: Am I going to turn green for being a bad girl too?
Mom: Honey, I was just kidding about that!

–Gershwin Theater

Overheard by: Rogue

Little girl: How do you spell your name?
Father: D-a-d-d-y.
Little girl: Shark?

–Clean-R-Laundromat

Woman #1: They confiscated my fluorescent light because they said it was a fire hazard.
Woman #2: Oh yeah?
Woman #1: Yeah…They should have been there when I set my mother on fire.

–Target, Erskine St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Courtney C.

Man #1: Are you serious?
Man #2: Yep.
Man #1: She really did that?
Man #2: Yep, took everything and left me.
Man #1: God, your mom's a bitch.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Gir