Maybe She's Born with It? Maybe It's Wednesday One-Liner.

Guy preaching on subway: I noticed I would always get hit on by beautiful women when I was with a woman, so I started hanging out with lesbians, and now we pick up women together.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Alexis

Panhandler going through train: God bless you, will anyone spare some money? God bless you, damm! You have a pretty white girlfriend.

–6 Train

Overheard by: Jackie

Woman giving out free loot: You girls are so pretty, want some condoms?

–Grand Central Station

Hobo: Why do rich men get to marry all the pretty girls, kill them, and get away with it?

–125th St

Trashed girl, coming out of bathroom: I hate when guys say, "you're pretty enough."

–Bar 9, 54th & 9th

Overheard by: Ladle

Big slobby schlub, loudly talking to buddy: So, she was about to become another disposable pretty girl.

–W 66th St

Overheard by: Susan Volchok

Rambling crazy man: All of you women look beautiful, but in the end, y'all still have to take a shit!

–L Train

Overheard by: The City Planner

Posted on June 2, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Beauty, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Condoms, Crazies, Free stuff!, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Grand Central, Gripes, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hobos, Idiots, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Offers and requests, On the Subway, One-liners, Panhandling, Passengers, Poop, Preachers, Race, Street, Train Station, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Easter Isn’t Just About Cadbury Creme Eggs

Dealer: I got ecstacy, I got crystal meth, I got hydro…OK, y’all have a nice holiday.

–Washington Square park

Overheard by: Mark Asch

Street Preacher: Have you found Jesus?!
Guy #1: Why? Did you lose him?
Street Preacher: Have you found your Lord, our Savior, Jesus Christ?
Guy #2: Next time, try using better fucking nails!

–42nd & 8th

Overheard by: eb

Guy: I think her Easter eggs say “Satan” on them.

–27th Street office

Posted on May 14, 2015
Assholes, Druggies, Hard Drugs, Holidays, Jesus, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Office, Preachers, Satan, Washington Square Park

Jesus Doesn’t Keep Flecking Our Faces with Spit

Subway preacher, after incoherent rant: So, can I get a ‘Hallelujah’? [Passengers silent.] Well, then can I get a ‘Thank you, Jesus!’? [Passengers silent.] Okay, then. Now I’m just going to talk to the born-again Christians on this train. Everybody else can ignore me — just like you’re ignoring Jesus!

–4 train

Overheard by: JVM

Posted on April 17, 2015
On the Subway, Preachers, Religion

Ah Well. Lake Of Hellfire It Is, Then!

Crazy preacher guy: If you think I'm not telling the truth, fine. But on Judgement Day you will pay for all those times you didn't go to church.
Passenger: Hey, it's Easter Sunday…shouldn't you be in church?
Crazy preacher guy: Oh, shit.

–1 Train

Posted on February 22, 2015
Celebrations/Parties, Christianity, Church, Crazies, Crazy, On the Subway, Passengers, Preachers, Questions

These Are My Wednesday One-Liners, in Whom I Am Well-Pleased

Seated proselytizer: Jesus walked through walls without using the door, and when Jesus touches you, he is inside you and you become like Jesus. So, if you do something to me, I don’t need the police. I can just come to your house, because I can get in without keys.

–1 train

Overheard by: thaler

Mexican preacher: Statistics show one in one person will die.

–Times Square

Overheard by: soccerking3t

Religious nut: You have to accept God! His holy grace! His saving grace! He’s got all kinds of grace!

–Grand Central

Bible-thumper: There’s no way if you wrap citric acid, cola, and carbonation in aluminum foil and stick in in the fridge for a million years it’s ever going to evolve into a Coke!

–Tompkins Square Park

Preacher: The best thing you can have on your resume when you die is not that you went to Harvard, not that you have a Ph.D., but that you have eternal life.

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: God requires a resume?

Posted on January 19, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Preachers, Religion, Wednesday One-Liners

Are You Even an Authorized Spokesperson?

Woman preaching: Jesus loves you!
Obviously Jewish girl: Well, supposedly we killed him, so I don’t think so.

–Grand Central

Overheard by: G

Posted on January 2, 2015
Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, God Squad, Grand Central, Jesus, Jews, Judaism, Love, Preachers, Women

No Disrespect Was Intended or Should Be Inferred

Tourist: Wait, so you’re telling me that Jesus is coming back within the next year?
Apocalyptic shaman: Amen brother.
Tourist: And that he’s a black man?
Apocalyptic shaman: Now, why you got to go and be a wise-ass cracka about it?

–34th & 7th

Overheard by: Meghan

Posted on November 14, 2014
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Default, Jesus, Preachers, Questions, Race, Tourism, Tourists

He Says He’s Sorry

Street preacher: The day of repentment is here!
Passerby: ‘Repentment’ isn’t a word…
Street preacher: It’s the word of God.

–42nd & 5th

Overheard by: The Professor

Posted on October 30, 2014
Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Preachers, Words

Yeah, but She’s Got a Kid. Baggage!

Preacher: Blessed be the Virgin Mary.
Guy: Oooh. A virgin!

–125th St station

Overheard by: dibs

Posted on October 12, 2014
Creepsters, Preachers, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Virginity

When Crying “Wolf” Got Old, Peter Turned to This

Man on the street: Jesus loves you!
Teenage boy: I know he does!
Man on the street: Jesus is coming!
Teenage boy: Jesus is always coming.
Man on the street: He’s really coming this time!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Maya G.

Posted on October 3, 2014
Boys, Compare/Contrast, Default, God Squad, Jesus, Preachers, Teens, Times Square

Preachers