Three-year-old in stroller: Have you ever seen a pussy?
Nanny: No.
–76th St & Amsterdam
Three-year-old in stroller: Have you ever seen a pussy?
Nanny: No.
–76th St & Amsterdam
Nerdy serious white guy: See, that's what's great about going to Afghanistan. I'm no good at talking to women.
–N Train
Overheard by: annearchist
Nerd walking into archaeology class from noisy hallway: Do you hear the roman legion?
–Hunter College
Nerdy guy on cell: Yeah, she's an exhibitionist. She needs to be punished, but who's going to do it?
–JCPenny
Geeky Korean kid outside high school: I'm not really bad. I'm, like, medium-bad. You know, like, bad… But still good.
–Flushing, Queens
Overheard by: Samantha
Nerd to another: Your entire belief system is based on the rotundity of Darth Vader… That is a farce.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Nicole
Thug #1: Yo, what it mean when you call a woman “apple bottom”?
Thug #2 (half asleep): Cake.
Thug #1 to thugette: See woman, I told you it mean you got cake.
–1 Train
Overheard by: bianca's boyfriend
Girl #1: The professor was pretty insulted when I told her the joke.
Girl #2: What was the joke?
Girl #1: How do you get a dead baby into a box? Put it in a blender. How do you get a dead baby out of the box? With Tostitos!
Girl #2: That's gross.
Girl #1: My professor was pregnant.
–Fordham University
Bartender: Are you getting her anything for Valentine's Day?
20-something guy: Probably not.
Bartender: Nothing? Flowers? Anything?
20-something guy: What am I supposed to do? Send a note that says “thanks for fucking me”?
–57th St
Suit #1: How do you say S-H-I-I-T-E?
Suit #2: Shee-ite.
Suit #1: God, I’ve been saying S-H-I-T all this time.
–F train
High school brunette: Hey, how do you spell “who”?
High school blond: Are you retarded?
High school brunette: Just tell me!
High school blond: Wow, I can't believe I have to do this: h-o-u.
–75th & Park
Overheard by: Greg U.
Nanny to boy blocking slide: Hi, are you going down the slide?
(kid shakes head)
Nanny: Well, can we get past you?
(kid shakes head)
Three-year-old friend: Sam, share.
(Sam shakes head)
Three-year-old friend: Sam, share or I will leave you.
–69th & West End
Young Woman: Are you part Italian?
Older Woman: I’m Italian by injection!
–Private party, NYC
Teacher: What's used to cover a beast?
Student: Underwear?
–Francis Lewis High School
Overheard by: Thank God I'm Not The Beast.
