College guy to eight-year-old boy: Is that your girlfriend? (points to eight-year-old girl playing in sprinklers)
Eight-year-old boy: No, I just like to get her wet.
–Central Park Playground
College guy to eight-year-old boy: Is that your girlfriend? (points to eight-year-old girl playing in sprinklers)
Eight-year-old boy: No, I just like to get her wet.
–Central Park Playground
Tourist: Hi, what do we need to do to join the tour?
Tour guide: Well, there's an entrance exam.
Tourist: Really?
Tour guide: No. But based on this conversation, you would've failed.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Chuckles
(girl #1 is at the snack table, carefully wrapping cupcakes in napkins and putting them into her purse)
Girl #2 (looking at her): Graduate student?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: Been there.
–House Party, Washington Heights
Overheard by: McFreaky
Christian pamphlet-wielder: Excuse me, would you like to learn about the rapture?
Exasperated 20-something: I swear, if I see one more of you beam-me-up ladies…
–Penn Station
Middle-aged woman (excitedly): So I met a great 75-year old man!
Middle-aged man (also excitedly): Are you going to marry him?
–W 13th St b/w 5th & 6th Ave
Overheard by: NYU girl
Guy #1: You're getting a cape?
Guy #2: Yeah, I figure we can prop the hood up and make it like the reservoir.
Guy #1: You're either going to look like a giant penis in a condom or a Ku Klux Klan member in saran wrap.
–Costume Store, 11th & Broadway
Overheard by: brian
Mother: You sent 340 text messages and went over the plan. You owe me $10.
Daughter: Can I have $10?
Mother: Sure. (hands daughter $10)
Daughter: Here! (hands mother $10)
–Outside St. James Theatre
Gay guy: Do I have a dick on my face?
Fag hag: I don't think so.
–50th & 11th
Overheard by: Memory
Guy #1:So what did he die of?
Guy #2: HIV–and complications to rattlesnake venom. I gotta write a book, right?
–Chelsea Cinemas, 23rd St
Overheard by: Doug Bost
Fireman on loudspeaker, as he drives by Magnolia Bakery in fire truck: It's just a cupcake!
–11th & Bleecker
Overheard by: Chris
Disappointed 20-something girl to girlfriends: Yeah, but they don't have chocolate covered penises there.
–Bleecker St
Overheard by: Brookelyn
Large Italian guy: What happened to my tiramisu? That's what I want to know!
–LIRR to Penn Station
Girl covered in pink frosting on cell: There's frosting all over me!
–170th & Broadway
Overheard by: Poogins
Hipster guy on cell: Yeah, so the food was like chocolate and chorizo…mother fucking chocolate and chorizo… No, it was good… You should try it… Why not? Fuck veganism! Some website… Myjambi. M-y-j-a-m-b-i. Why chocolate? How should I know? It's for the website. Yes, the website! I don't know why the dog was there.
–28th & Park
Old woman to overweight woman: You look like you would know the answer to this… Where is a cupcake bakery around here?
–53rd & 3rd
