Waitress #1: Do you have any tampons?
Waitress #2: Yeah, I have regular and super.
Waitress #1: Are they the plastic kind? The cardboard snags my vagina.
–Restaurant, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Unappetized
Waitress #1: Do you have any tampons?
Waitress #2: Yeah, I have regular and super.
Waitress #1: Are they the plastic kind? The cardboard snags my vagina.
–Restaurant, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Unappetized
Conductor (after doors close at Rector St): If you are in the last five cars you will not be getting off at South Ferry. (train starts to move) Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Shoulda listened to directions.
Passenger: Is anyone else hearing this?
–1 Train
Overheard by: ryn
Woman #1, with water bottle in paper bag: I don't understand why they gave me a bag. What's the point of putting just a water bottle in a bag?
Woman #2: You should've just told them you didn't want one.
Woman #1: Yeah, but I didn't notice until he put it in.
(pause, then both women snicker)
–Elevator, 8th Ave
Overheard by: Mariah
Mom to tween daughter: Are you mad at me?
Tween daughter: No, I'm not mad at you.
Mom: Why aren't you mad at me? You have every right to be.
–NJ Transit
Nine-year-old girl: Are you a Republican or a Democrat?
14-year-old girl: Well, I'm a Democrat.
Nine-year-old girl: Why?
14-year-old girl: Well, in my opinion, being a Democrat means you don't like Bush.
Nine-year-old girl: Oh. I'm a Democrat, too.
–Brooklyn Public Library, Greenpoint Branch
Overheard by: Jack Jackl
Wannabe rap superstar: Yo, wanna buy this CD?
Middle aged white guy: What are the beats like?
Wannabe rap superstar: (silence)
Middle aged white guy: Are they like (starts beat-boxing)?
Wannabe rap superstar: No. (leaves)
–96th St & Amsterdam
Overheard by: sure they weren't
Drunken woman: So why did you decide to marry her?
Drunken man: Because she just moved in!
–Ayza Wine & Chocolate Bar
Overheard by: Colleen
(after a performance of Hair)
Woman: What was your favorite part?
Four-year-old girl: I liked all the parts.
Six-year-old girl: I liked the naked part.
–Delacorte Theater, Central Park
Tween boy #1: Did you see her monkey?
Tween boy #2: She has a monkey?
Tween boy #1: The monkey in her pants, tard.
Tween boy #2: She has a monkey in her pants?
Tween boy #1: You need to watch more porn.
Tween boy #2: Porn with monkeys? My brother is right, I'm not ready for any of this.
–D Train
Overheard by: BobK
Guy (smelling weed, to male friend): Hey man, you smell that?
Girl: Yeah, it smells like my dad.
–Terminal 5
Overheard by: Adam
