Guy #1: You’ve been snackin’ recently.
Guy #2: What do you mean?
Guy #1: Spitting in my sandwiches –and I still eat them, but there’s no trust!
–4 Train
Overheard by: Been Jamin’
Guy #1: You’ve been snackin’ recently.
Guy #2: What do you mean?
Guy #1: Spitting in my sandwiches –and I still eat them, but there’s no trust!
–4 Train
Overheard by: Been Jamin’
Twelve-year-old boy: How do you know they don’t have kid’s sizes?
Mom: I just know they don’t.
Kid: But how do you know?!
Mom, impatient: I know!
–Christopher St., in front of Gay Leather Fetish Shop
Student #1: Can you drink rubbing alcohol?
Teacher: No. If you do, you will die.
Student #2: Unless you’re Irish.
–Classroom, Edward R. Murrow Highschool, Brooklyn
Overheard by: anonymous
Little black boy in school group: Why are there all white people here? Is this a white people place, Miss Hannah?
Teacher: Well…
–Museum of Natural History
Starbucks employee #1: I just got so aroused when I made that caramel coffee today.
Starbucks employee #2: Oh god… You didn’t do what you did last time, did you?!?
–Broadway & Reade
Stuy Girl: So, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Stuy Guy: Well, I really want to just own some cows in Spain.
Stuy girl: Um, and do what with them?
Stuy Guy: Uh, milk them…I guess.
Stuy Girl: That’s not very realistic.
Stuy Guy: Yeah, I was thinking more in terms of like, if I didn’t have to survive…
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: jules
Guy: So I watched The Godfather last night.
Girl: Was it good?
Guy: It was awesome! It was like a better Grand Theft Auto.
–Metro North
30ish girl, looking at twenty-year olds: Are they going on about how old they are? Oh, please.
45ish rocker chick: Yup, they are.
30ish girl: I think I’m older than they are!
45ish: Me too. From the look of things, they’re about the age of my first abortion.
30ish girl: [Chokes on beer.]45ish: Wonder how old that would be now?
30ish girl: Please stop.
–Double Down, Ave A
Overheard by: Happygirl
Thug: Yo, you saw that “Pirates of the Caribbean”?
Suit: Yeah.
Thug, laughing hysterically: That part where they’re on the boats?
Suit: Yeah…
Thug: I’m just sayin’, it was funny though.
–34th & 10th
Overheard by: I laughed, I cried…
College boy #1: Do you think when we get there we can…
[Five second pause.]College boy #2: What?
College boy #1: Sorry, I had to concentrate. I had to fart.
–Crosstown Bus
Overheard by: Gonna Cab It From Now On
