Questions

She Puts the “Pat” in Patent Law Class

Girl #1: Uh… This is the women’s restroom, right?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: This is the women’s restroom, right?
Girl #2: Yeah. Why?
Girl #1: There was just a guy in here!
Girl #3: No… that’s a woman.
Girl #1: Oh.
Girl #3: Yeah, she’s in my class.

–NYU

Headline by: Brady

Runners-Up:

· “Does She Always Stand While She Pees?” – Hobo Whisperer

· “Hermaphrodites 101” – Sami

· “Janet Reno: The College Years” – International Man of Leisure

· “Just because I’m washing my hands, doesn’t mean I can’t hear you.” – aaron Stephenson


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

He Had a Nice Supper First, Though

Blonde: Can you say ‘Happy Passover’ to someone?
Brunette: Passover is a happy holiday, I think. ‘Cause it’s about food and stuff.
Blonde: Okay. I wasn’t sure. ‘Cause, you know, Jesus died, so I dunno how that works. That’s not too happy…

–Olympic Diner, 8th Ave

And Then They Go Home with You

Eager, straight-ish hipster dude to posse: We could ask gay guys which one of us they think is cuter…
Cute hipster friend: No, I always win that game.

–Pyramid, Ave A, between 6th & 7th St

Overheard by: Dan

They’re All Gay at Mardi Gras

Suit: Sometimes I want to ask Dan* if he’s gay. I can’t figure out if he is or not.
Woman: Is he flamboyant?
Suit: Yeah, but that could be because he’s a southerner.

–550 Madison Ave

Overheard by: DrDorn

Meet the Inventor of the Belinda Displeasure Scale

Little girl: If the teacher said if something was really, really good, would that make you really happy?
Mother: Yes.
Little girl: If the teacher said if something was good, would that make you happy?
Mother: Yes.
Little girl: If the teacher said something was sorta good, would that make you so-so?
Mother: Yes.
Little girl: If the teacher said something was bad, would that make you mad?
Mother: Yes.
Little girl: If the teacher said something was really bad, would that make you really mad?
Mother: It would make me sick!

–97th & 3rd

Overheard by: squid

Reader Poll: Will That Quote Ever Fucking Die?!

Boy at screen door: Mom, can I come in?
Mom: Show me.
Boy: What?
Mother: Show me the money.

–Meserole Ave, Greenpoint

Aw Hell, Here — I’m Insured!

Hobo: Can I ride that through Cooper Union?
Harley guy: Do you know how to shift?

–Outside Starbucks, near Cooper Union

Overheard by: budgetmoon

Because They’re Keeping Score

Thug #1: … And I was like, ‘Damn, baby. I just bought you some pizza, we’re about to see a movie — is it really imperative that I buy you the Justin Timberlake CD so you can listen to it tonight?’
Thug #2: I know what you mean dog. My girl was beggin’ me to buy her that new Akon shit.
Thug #1: Why can’t bitches just be happy?

–116th St station

Madonna, Circa 1983

Clerk: What about this one?
40-something woman looking at skin-tight, black leather mini dress: Hmmm… I like it, but do you have anything with a little less leather for church?

–Orchard St

Overheard by: what kind of church does she go to?

Wow, You Really Have a Point

Old lady: What did you just say?
Three-year-old: [Inaudible mumbling.]Old lady: Don’t curse, goddammit! You sound like a fucking ass!

–110th & Madison

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