Girl: So, are you still getting me pregnant this weekend?
Confused boyfriend: … What?
Girl: Oh. Did I not tell you about that?
–TKTS booth, Times Square
Overheard by: Kevin
Headline by: ilemanzer
Runners-Up:
· “Did You Not Get the Memo Stapled to the Condom?” – Ashez
· “He shoots, She whores!” – Qasar
· “I Want To Have Your Abortion” – travis
· “The Girl’s Guide to Getting Your Boyfriend to Listen: Part 1” – Heather S
· “Yeah, I’m Obligating.” – kerm
Little boy: Mom, how did the dinosaurs cook their meat?
Mother: They didn’t, they ate it raw.
Little boy: Oh. [Long pause.] Are Japanese people dinosaurs?
–Astoria Park
Preppy guy waiting for walk signal: Hi there.
Hot girl: Um, do I know you?
Preppy guy: No, I was just being friendly…
Hot girl: Oh, yeah? Well then why don’t you say hi to her, too? [Points to fat chick nearby.]Preppy guy, to himself: God, I hate New Yorkers…
–Central Park
Overheard by: well I LOVE New Yorkers
Kid: Dad, what’s a novel?
Dad: It’s a story written down in a book.
Kid: What’s a short story?
Dad, staring at kid: Are you freakin’ kidding me?
–Father Demo Square
Overheard by: z-pfeiff
Hipster girl: How could you wear that?!
Fur coat lady: I love animals so much that if I can’t be one I might as well wear one around my neck!
–N train
Overheard by: teabird
Man to woman and her friend pushing a stroller: Listen, Jeanie, you like my sperm, and I like your car. I’m sure we can make a deal.
–60th & Central Park South
Firefighter after getting a call: Hey, boss, how many one-way streets do you think I can drive down the wrong way?
–Pathmark under Manhattan Bridge
Overheard by: tj
Midwestern woman in preppy clothes sticking head out passenger window of sedan: Excuse me, we’re trying to merge…
–Waiting to enter Lincoln Tunnel
Overheard by: Angela
Homeless musician with Casio keyboard plays entire intro to ‘Oye Como Va,’ then sings: Oye como va, ba da da, blah blah blah blah blah! [Abruptly stops] Well, ladies and gentlemen, that’s what you get for not having a car.
–L train to Williamsburg
Overheard by: Subway Goer
Dude #1: I wonder why we’re here.
Dude #2: I tried to figure it out once…
Dude #1: And what did you find?
Dude #2: I found out that I’m probably gay.
–Wall St
Dude: Is the Banana Republic a real place?
Chick: … I think so. They wouldn’t lie, would they?
–Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Laura M.
Teen chick #1: So, what? Are you sick of all us girls now?
Teen boy: Yeah.
Teen chick #2: Why, because you’ve hooked up with all of us?
Teen boy: Yeah.
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Chinese customer: Hey, do you work here?
Chinese salesman: Yes.
Chinese customer: Okay, are you guys going to have the PlayStation Three when it comes out?
Chinese salesman: It comes out November 17th.
Chinese customer: I know — are you guys going to have it?
Chinese salesman: It comes out November 17th.
Chinese customer: Okay… I know that. Are you guys going to sell it?
Chinese salesman: I don’t know if we have pre-orders.
Chinese customer: So, are you going to sell it on November 17th?
Chinese salesman: Yes, yes, we sell on November 17th — first come, first serve.
Chinese customer walks away mumbling: Damn, man, learn some English.
–J&R Music, City Hall
Overheard by: Hugh
