Wednesday Fatty-Boombalatty-Liners

Girls looking at pictures: He was mad fat, but he was a good ass baby.

–Uptown A Train

Guy walking through sea of sun bathers: There aren't even that many fat people here… That's good.

–Sheep Meadow, Central Park

Guy on cell: You're not skinny fat, no.

–East Village

Guy on cell phone: You mean you're not going to fatso's wedding!

–N Train

Overheard by: wasn't even invited

Female suit: Why the hell does Weight Watchers have so many big fat people working in their offices, anyway? That's so not inspiring!

–40th & Madison Ave

Guy on phone: You mean the really nice one? She got big? What do you mean by big? (pause) Oh. Well, she has an exceptionally beautiful face, man. Do the right thing.

–9th & 15th

Overheard by: Courtney

Posted on July 21, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Babies, Beauty, Central Park, Diet/Weight, Girls, Guys, Height, Marriage, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Physical appearance, Pictures, Questions, Street, Stupidity, Suits, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners

Finally, a Good Reason to Just Say No

Three guys are standing outside of a restaurant talking about hiding drugs.

Guy: Yo, I just tie it up with string and put it next to my nutsack.

–Spring & W. Broadway

Overheard by: teca

Posted on July 20, 2015
Body Parts, Drugs, Soho, Stupidity

Well, Ralph Was Able to Punch Alice to There

Cop: I won’t issue you a summons if you can answer this question correctly… What’s closer to New York, Italy or the moon? I’ll give you a hint. You can see the moon.
Perp: Ummm… the moon!

–Brownsville, Brooklyn

Overheard by: po-pos do give 2nd chances

Posted on July 20, 2015
Brooklyn, Cops, Crime and Punishment, Global Geography, Idiots, Stupidity

But I'll Gladly Direct You to a Window If You'd Like to See Yourself Out

Little old lady: But I am sure I came in on this floor. Don't you know the customer is always right?
Sales associate: This is the 3rd floor. Unless you scaled the side of the building, I'm right on this one.

–Macy's, Herald Square

Overheard by: stewed tomato

Posted on July 20, 2015
9 to 5-ers, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Old People, Questions, Store, Stupidity, Weirdness

‘One of These Things Is Not Like the Other…’

Thuggish black guy #1: That was mad niggerish.
Preppy black guy: Yeah, it was so fiscally irresponsible.
Thuggish black guy #2: Yeah, so niggerish.

–114th & Broadway

Overheard by: puzzled

Posted on July 19, 2015
Black People, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Insults, Money & Class, Preppies, Stupidity, Thugs, Words

It’s Not the Same Without Druidical Sacrifice

Guy #1: You know, you never would have even heard of Halloween if I hadn’t told you about it.
Guy #2: Whatever.

–9th Ave & 15th St

Overheard by: Don Willmott

Posted on July 19, 2015
Comebacks, Guys, Holidays, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Stupidity

“The guy who publishes Overheard? Really?”

Woman #1: Guess who I sat next to at dinner last night?
Woman #2: I have no clue. Jimmy Fallon?
Woman #1: No. Denzel Washington!
Woman #2: Omigod!
Woman #1: I know, I love him!
Woman #2: I loved him as God in Bruce Almighty. That was him, wasn’t it?
Woman #1: No, that was Morgan Freeman, you dumb fuck.

–45th Street 7th & 8th

Posted on July 19, 2015
About Celebrities, Friends, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Movies, Nicknames & name calling, Stupidity

Even the Words Get Skinny

Girl # 1, looking at a picture: omg, I’m so fat
Girl #2: No.. you are just ano now.
Girl #3: It’s ani, not ano.
Girl #1: No, it’s def ano.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Neither Ani nor Ano

Posted on July 18, 2015
Bimbettes, Central Park, Diet/Weight, Stupidity, Words

And Even Then, The Men Came First

Guy: There is this guy who says that men and women are from different planets.
Girl: Oh, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. It’s just a metaphor.
Guy: Oh, right. They came on meteors.

–L train

Overheard by: Jason D. Schwartz

Posted on July 17, 2015
Books & Writing, Dating, On the Subway, Stupidity

Can You Hear Wednesday One-Liners Now?

Judge to room packed with prospective jurors: I am going to give you a number to call in case of an emergency. You should copy this down. The number is 917-480… (pause) Oh shit! (mic becomes muffled). Um, sorry. That was my cell phone number.

–Supreme Court Building

Woman on cell: Our codependent lewdity shall rage on, Verizon! Take that!

–113th & Broadway

Overheard by: McF

Hipsterette to another: Well, you shouldn't have to sleep with someone to find out if he's going to call you back.

–Coffee Shop, Park Slope

Overheard by: TheGreenCat

Conductor: There is a C train just across the platform. For those of you who have a sudden urge for a change of plans and wish to abandon your plans to go to Park Slope tonight, you can hop off here and take the C to East New York. I hope you have a phone to call your family, you won't be home for dinner!

–F Train

Overheard by: Staying on the F

Girl in bathroom stall on cell: Okay, my phone is dying, I will call you later. (pause) Call you from a payphone? I don't know how to use one of those.

–School, Lower Manhattan

Well-dressed woman walking tiny dog, yelling into cell: You know what, John? You can e-mail, don't even call me. I don't want you on my phone. (pause) Hello?

–Columbus Circle

Posted on July 17, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Cell Phone, Columbia University, Conductors, Directions, Family Ties, Girls, Hipsters, Home, Sweet Home, Insults, Internet, Lawsuits, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Park Slope, Passengers, Public Transportation, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, School, Sex, Street, Stupidity, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women, Words

Stupidity

Wednesday Fatty-Boombalatty-Liners