Wednesday One-Liners Aren’t So Vanilla

Suit on cell: Yeah, I know. Did I tell you about the dominatrix?

–49th & 7th

Little girl, to her mother: But why is the mummy all tied up?

–Egyptian Wing, the Met

Overheard by: Erin Partridge

Hipster woman: So I think my father is into kiddie porn.

–UCBT, 26th & 8th

Overheard by: Tobster

Dude, to his female date: So, do you like to do anal? Come on, you can be honest. You’ve already blown me.

—Calle Ocho, 81st & Columbus

Overheard by: Sara

Girl: I like you. Just not in a toe-up-the-ass way.

–1 train

Overheard by: i like toes

Cute guy: I mean, shit. I was in a threesome with him. He has no right to judge me.

–34th & 8th

Posted on July 5, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Backdoor, BJs, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Hipsters, Kids, Kink, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, On Cell, On the Subway, Porn, Suits, The Met, Three is Company

Telltale Sign of a Bad Boob Job

Suit #1: It just feels…weird.
Suit #2: Spongy.
Suit #1: Yeah.

–19th & 5th

Overheard by: I don’t even want to know

Posted on July 1, 2006
Boob Job, Murray Hill and Gramercy, People, Places, Suits

You Don’t Recognize Him in His Jackie O Wig

Wall Street guy #1: I haven’t seen that guy with the toupee on the train since I said something.
Wall Street guy #2: Do you think he heard you?
Wall Street guy #1: Maybe. Maybe he committed suicide.

–Uptown 4 train

Posted on June 16, 2006
Hair, On the Subway, Suicide, Suits

Has He Learned Nothing in Four Years?

Intern suit: So how do I get that pre-freshman to give me a handjob?
Girl: Do you realize that you’re graduating from college soon, and you’re asking me this?

–60th & Lex

Overheard by: grossed out

Posted on June 15, 2006
Advice, Coworkers, Creepsters, Education, Girls, Hand-Jobs, Suits, Upper East Side

I Once OD’ed on Ben-Gay (True Story)

Suit on cell: So I got some of that topical headache medicine. You know, the cream that comes in a giant chapstick tube so you just rub it on your head without getting it on your hands. Well, I don’t know if it worked. I got so much of it in my eyes that I had to spend the rest of the night in the emergency room.

–Penn Station

Posted on June 15, 2006
Medicine, Penn Station, Suits

Wednesday One-liners in Suits

Suit on headset: You know, I have been so gassy lately.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: yum

Suit on cell: Hey, I found this guy I thought I’d fix you up with, but I talked to Elliot and he said he wouldn’t cross the street to piss on him, he’s an ethical scumbag… Yeah, I know that’s what everybody says about Elliott.

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Ken

Posted on June 14, 2006
Dating, Health and Hygiene, Jobs & Careers, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Penn Station, Poop, Sex & Relationships, Suits

Bowling Green Isn’t Looking Very Green, Either

Recording: This is Brooklyn Bridge…
Girl #1: This don’t look like Brooklyn Bridge
Girl# 2: I know, maybe they’re doing renovations or something.
Lady suit: We’re still in the tunnel.

–downtown 4 Train

Overheard by: Madison Parks

Posted on June 11, 2006
History & Geography, Manhattan, NYC Geography, On the Subway, Suits, Teens, Tourist Attractions, Tourists, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

The Rockport Files

Suit: Do you see that guy? He’s wearing a suit and sneakers!
Coffee vendor: Um…
Suit: I can’t believe that! I really think guys like that should be lined up and shot on Broadway.

–Broad & Wall St

Overheard by: alxie

Posted on June 9, 2006
Fashion, Manhattan, Suits, Vendors & Street Performers, Violence, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

She Wears Anti-Gravity Espadrilles

Suit on cell: Well you should be careful, remember what happened last time… Well you have to remember, she can eat whatever she wants and not gain weight, you gain weight… Whaaaaat? You think you weigh less than 130? Okaaaaaay.

–23rd & 6th