Wednesday One-Liners Built the Tower of Babel

Guy: Hey! Where’s my Sudanese pussy from Chinatown?

–14th & University

Guy on cell: I’ll meet you at the corner by the store with Chinese writing…Hey, wait a minute. All the fucking signs around here have Chinese writing.

–Walker & Lafayette

Overheard by: Wolf

Guy on cell: So, if this is true, then Dracula’s native language would be Hungarian rather than Romanian. And I think that is important for my research.

–Anthology Film Archives, 2nd St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: nosy cinephile

Teen girl: This bag is mad Aztec.

–13th & University

Co-Worker: So, did she mention anything about Mexicans?

–Office, W 36th St

Overheard by: Evan

Well-Traveled girl: Mexico is not a Third-World country. JFK is.

–Tea Lounge, Park Slope

Small child: Mommy, look! You can tell he’s Mexican by his eyes!

–Bodies exhibit, South Street Seaport

White girl, to Asian girl: So wait, is he just not Japanese or not interested?

–Walgreens, Union Square

Overheard by: Goldie

Businesswoman: Well you can’t kill a Vietnamese man because that would just cost too much.

–I Trulli restaurant, E 27th St

Hobo: You’re not Polish; you just think you’re Polish!

–Tompkins Square Park

Voice over intercom: Will the foreign exchange student please come to the cashier.

–Century 21

Sassy chick: I can’t believe she’s moving to fucking Cambodia to live with a fucking cricket-hunter she’s only known for two months!

–TGI Friday’s, 52nd & 7th

Overheard by: Shaina

Posted on August 9, 2006
Africans, All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Asians, Body Parts, Books & Writing, Brooklyn, Cashiers, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Chinatown, Death, Fashion, Foreigners, Girls, Global Geography, Guys, History & Geography, Hobos, Japanese, JFK Airport, Kids, Latinos, Manhattan, Men, Mexicans, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Money & Class, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, On Cell, Parents, Park Slope, People, Places, Pop Culture, Private Parts, Restaurants & Cafes, Store, Students, Suits, Teens, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Venues, Violence, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, White People, Women

Sucked Not Having Him There

Suit #1: Why wasn’t Andrew at the office?
Suit #2: He took a blow-job day.

–6th Ave

Overheard by: someone in the wrong line of work

Posted on July 21, 2006
BJs, Manhattan, Suits

Slutty, With a Chance of Late Afternoon Whores

Suit #1, leaving: Nice out?
Suit #2, entering: Hot n’ humid!
Suit #1: Lots of sluts?

–Office building, 6th Ave

Overheard by: Non suit

Posted on July 11, 2006
Buildings, Hootchies, Manhattan, Office, People, Places, Suits, Topics, Weather

Wednesday One-Liners Aren’t So Vanilla

Suit on cell: Yeah, I know. Did I tell you about the dominatrix?

–49th & 7th

Little girl, to her mother: But why is the mummy all tied up?

–Egyptian Wing, the Met

Overheard by: Erin Partridge

Hipster woman: So I think my father is into kiddie porn.

–UCBT, 26th & 8th

Overheard by: Tobster

Dude, to his female date: So, do you like to do anal? Come on, you can be honest. You’ve already blown me.

—Calle Ocho, 81st & Columbus

Overheard by: Sara

Girl: I like you. Just not in a toe-up-the-ass way.

–1 train

Overheard by: i like toes

Cute guy: I mean, shit. I was in a threesome with him. He has no right to judge me.

–34th & 8th

Posted on July 5, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Backdoor, BJs, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Hipsters, Kids, Kink, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, On Cell, On the Subway, Porn, Suits, The Met, Three is Company

Telltale Sign of a Bad Boob Job

Suit #1: It just feels…weird.
Suit #2: Spongy.
Suit #1: Yeah.

–19th & 5th

Overheard by: I don’t even want to know

Posted on July 1, 2006
Boob Job, Murray Hill and Gramercy, People, Places, Suits

You Don’t Recognize Him in His Jackie O Wig

Wall Street guy #1: I haven’t seen that guy with the toupee on the train since I said something.
Wall Street guy #2: Do you think he heard you?
Wall Street guy #1: Maybe. Maybe he committed suicide.

–Uptown 4 train

Posted on June 16, 2006
Hair, On the Subway, Suicide, Suits

Has He Learned Nothing in Four Years?

Intern suit: So how do I get that pre-freshman to give me a handjob?
Girl: Do you realize that you’re graduating from college soon, and you’re asking me this?

–60th & Lex

Overheard by: grossed out

Posted on June 15, 2006
Advice, Coworkers, Creepsters, Education, Girls, Hand-Jobs, Suits, Upper East Side

I Once OD’ed on Ben-Gay (True Story)

Suit on cell: So I got some of that topical headache medicine. You know, the cream that comes in a giant chapstick tube so you just rub it on your head without getting it on your hands. Well, I don’t know if it worked. I got so much of it in my eyes that I had to spend the rest of the night in the emergency room.

–Penn Station

Posted on June 15, 2006
Medicine, Penn Station, Suits

Wednesday One-liners in Suits

Suit on headset: You know, I have been so gassy lately.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: yum

Suit on cell: Hey, I found this guy I thought I’d fix you up with, but I talked to Elliot and he said he wouldn’t cross the street to piss on him, he’s an ethical scumbag… Yeah, I know that’s what everybody says about Elliott.

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Ken

Posted on June 14, 2006
Dating, Health and Hygiene, Jobs & Careers, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Penn Station, Poop, Sex & Relationships, Suits