Girl: I haven’t talked to her since she left for college. How is she?
Guy: I don’t know, man…I haven’t heard from her either, so I guess she’s just, like, decaying or whatever.
–80th & East End
Overheard by: Anne O.
Girl: I haven’t talked to her since she left for college. How is she?
Guy: I don’t know, man…I haven’t heard from her either, so I guess she’s just, like, decaying or whatever.
–80th & East End
Overheard by: Anne O.
Girl #1: I used to throw these really great parties and I invited this paraplegic guy who liked to do comedy routines. So he started his routine, and this fat lady runs up and starts grabbing his ass–
Girl #2: Was he funny?
Girl #1: Well, I don’t know, you know? He was just getting warmed up, and he kinda lost his flow when this woman started grabbing his ass and he couldn’t really stop her…I guess he was sort of funny.
–7th & Leroy
Guy: Happy Birthday!
Woman in Bday hat: Happy Birthday? I’m old enough to be your fucking mother. Wait, how the fuck old are you?
Guy: 30.
Woman: OK, maybe not, but old enough to be your father’s younger sister’s kid’s mother.
–outside Comic Strip Live, UES
Hot 20-something redhead: So that’s why you barely said hello when I got back from Mexico?!
Hot 20-something blonde: Uh-huh.
Hot 20-something redhead: You were in a bad mood because your vibrator broke?!
–West Village
Guy: Success is always coming between us. It’s always been that way, and will continue to be that way.
–Pay phone, Cobble Hill
Hoochie teen: Well, I’m still a virgin. I only let him put it in my ass.
Friend: You know that anal sex counts as sex, right?
Hoochie teen: Are you sure?
–Times Square
Security guy: Ma’am, please step into the back of the store.
Chick: But why?
Security guy: Don’t make this harder on yourself.
Chick: But why?
Shopgirl: They do make it harder on themselves, don’t they?
Chick: Fuck you!
–Sephora, Spring & Broadway
Taco Bell Lady: 1 Beef Burrito.
Customer: As in 296? Is that order 296?
Taco Bell Lady: Yeah.
Customer: Are you sure? I don’t want to take someone else’s.
Taco Bell Lady: Uh huh.
Customer [under his breath]: Do you know where you are?
–Taco Bell, West Village
Employee pointing to wall: See the fire damage?
Tourist mom: Is this where you stash your weed?
–Cathedral of St. John the Divine
Overheard by: amused priest
Student #1: Mister, what are some jobs I could look into if I got a Math major?
Teacher: Oh, there’s lots of options! You could be an engineer… an accountant…
Student #2: … A wizard…
–Stuyvesant High School
