Guy #1: Yeah, she wouldn’t shut up so I peed on her.
Guy #2: Just what I would have done, bro.
–Central Park
Guy #1: Yeah, she wouldn’t shut up so I peed on her.
Guy #2: Just what I would have done, bro.
–Central Park
Girl #1: We have to turn right on this street.
Girl #2: But it’s a one way…
Girl #1: Dude, we are walking!
–Fort Greene
Overheard by: pratt radio
Girl: Do you smell that? Smells like straight up pussy in this bitch.
Guy: I wouldn’t know.
Girl: What do you mean you wouldn’t know? It’s pussy.
Guy: I wouldn’t know. I’m gay.
Girl: Damn, son. So what does dick smell like?
Guy: Wouldn’t you know? I mean when you get on your knees?
–M14D bus
Overheard by: Janelle Someone
Drunk chick #1: I have the best blind date story ever.
Drunk chick #2: Oh yeah?
Drunk chick #1: My sister’s friend flew from Australia to LA for a blind date, and she ended up flying to Aruba with the guy and marrying him like a week later.
Drunk chick #2: Wow. That’s awesome!
Drunk chick #1: But I think she was just, like, 35 and desperate to get married.
–Bleecker & Sullivan
Overheard by: djlindee
Chick #1: You know why guys don’t like mushrooms?
Chick #2: Who said guys don’t like mushrooms?
Chick #1: Because they taste like cum!
–N train
Chick #1: So how did your trial go?
Chick #2: It went well, it went my way.
Chick #1: That’s great.
Chick #2: Yeah. The guy was actually nice; well, he was listed as a violent felon, but…
Chick #1: A nice violent felon?
Chick #2: Ha, ha…yeah. He tried to play the “my 88 year old dad and my wife and kids are here, I’m in rehab trying to clean up my life” card. But I put him on the stand for the whole day and caught him in all these lies.
–Broadway & 13th
Chick #1: So how was it?
Chick #2: It was bitchfabulous.
Chick #1: Awesome. So it was bitchtastic?
Chick #2: Nice! I like that one. Yeah, it was bitchtastic.
Chick #1: And the coffee?
Chick #2: Bitchalicious.
Chick #1: Hey, I just realized someone might hear us.
–41st & 6th
Guy: This remake of King Kong was a good movie; did you ever see the
original?
Girl: Yeah, I didn’t know it was a true story.
–42nd & 8th
Girl #1: Don’t laugh while I tell you this! Channel Chris Parnell!
Girl #2: Ha, ha, ha!…I’m sorry, I have to pull a Jimmy Fallon.
–Banc Cafe, 30th & 3rd
Old Jewess: Where are you from originally?
Preggers: China.
Old Jewess: Oh that’s good, because you know everyone wants an Asian baby now.
–Filene’s Basement, 79th & Broadway
Overheard by: Barth
