Teacher: How come the people in Australia don’t fall off the bottom of the Earth?
First grade girl: Super Glue!
First grade boy: Because they have their shoes on!
–P.S. 86, Bronx
Overheard by: Wendy
Teacher: How come the people in Australia don’t fall off the bottom of the Earth?
First grade girl: Super Glue!
First grade boy: Because they have their shoes on!
–P.S. 86, Bronx
Overheard by: Wendy
Babysitter: Ok guys, hold my hand.
Six-year-old boy: Holding hands is unnatural.
Babysitter: What? Where did you hear that?
Six-year-old boy: George Bush!
Man walking ahead: Wow, he really does get blamed for everything now.
–1 train, 225th St
Overheard by: bkh
Drunk guy: You're not looking too good, are you okay to drive?
Drunk guy: Those officers can suck my dick.
Drunk girl: Those officers will not suck your dick, and they never will.
–W 238th & Waldo Ave
Gangsta retail guy: So this party last night was for real, totally got blasted, couldn't even wake up this morning…
Gay retail guy: I'd come to one of your parties, but all you guys do is get wasted.
Gangsta retail guy: Yeah, I'd go to one of your parties too, but all you guys do is fuck each other.
–Target, Bronx
Overheard by: Good Craic
College girl: Like Spiderman and Batman?
College guy, enthusiastically: That analogy is always cool!
–186th St & Arthur Ave
Princess #1: I had to run to the cafeteria and get fro-yo because my stomach was growling in class! How embarrassing is that?
Princess #2: Oh my god. That is my worst nightmare.
–Fordham University Rose Hill
Overheard by: stine
Girl #1: Look at these pictures.
(girl #2 starts to look at pictures)
Girl #2: Oh look, my son looks like one of those… uhhh… hmmm…? I forgot what they are called.
Girl #1: A hungry child?
Girl #2: Yeaaaah, like one of those kids from a third world country.
–Buhre Avenue, Bronx
Overheard by: DaILList4Ever
Gay man: Now that everything is lesbian, bi and transgender, I don't know if I can lead the committee anymore, 'cause I've got my gay male privilege.
–W 13th St
Man with clipboard: Do you have a moment for gay rights? (silence) C'mon, help support the people that made your clothes!
–10th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: You mean 10-year olds in Honduras?
Thug teenage dad, about baby staring at effeminate Asian man: Oh shit, she's already got her gaydar on.
–4 Train
Chick to friends: I would be like the sluttiest gay guy and it would be totally awesome.
–Christopher St
Man: …and you know there are a ton of gays who have no problem taking it straight up the ass.
–Times Square
11-year-old thuggish boy: No homo, but he looks better than his sister.
–Bronx Playground
Black guy: I'm gay! I'm proud! I'm in the front seat! I'm gay! I'm proud! I'm in the front seat! I love guys!
–Union St & 8th Ave, Brooklyn
Irish girl: So who were these boys she was caught trespassing with?
American girl: I don’t know, but my dad said one of them was named Jesus.
Irish girl: Oh Jesus, so she’s hanging out with Muslims now?
–Woodlawn, The Bronx
Little kid: Grandma, I want a dollar.
Ghetto grandma: Nigga, we had to work to get money, sometimes we would get beat.
Little kid: Can I get my dollar now?
–The Bronx
Overheard by: Julio Pena
